The Great Big Lie

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I sit here today as an adult.. Well, close to an adult, I mean 18 is still the legal age right? Okay, lemme come back. I sit here today and I realize that they all lied, all the people who sold adulthood to us. The movies that told you that you could touch the sky once you’re grown up. Your mother who said “don’t worry, it’ll get better once you’re older.” Your father who said “grow up big and strong.” Well I’m not big and God knows I’m as far from strong as I can get. As for wiser, well let’s not even go there. School’s harder. Your emotions don’t obey you. Everyone thinks you should be superman because you’re now in the university. They expect you to dress better, be happier and generally look like a toothpaste advert. And that is no small feat!

Oh and news flash they all LIED about everything!!!

The higher you go the simpler it becomes they said? I was doing long division then, no one mentioned La Place Transforms and Fourier Series. They said “yea,when you’re older you’ll be prettier” nobody mentioned soceity’s idea of beauty. “You’ll have a fairytale wedding” well, that one’s funny because no one mentioned the economy.

But we believed the lies, we try to live them and we’re miserable because no one can live a lie.

They say “enjoy life while you’re young. But BEING young is touted as wrong in some way.

So we’re torn between the things that come naturally to us and the things we’re supposed to do. Everybody is stifled and frustrated. Everyone keeps secrets and feels more alone everyday because these people who lied also judge you. Yes, they give you labels and they don’t know your story. Your parents write the script of your life, you act the drama, and heaven help those who don’t follow the script. They say “be yourself” every time, but they want to define you.

But there’s something they forgot to teach though, they forgot to tell you that all fingers are not equal and that you may not always touch the sky, but it feels good to stare too. That you will fall in love and get your heart broken. You’ll fall out of the wagon of your faith sometimes and loose touch with God, and that’s okay because his love is unconditional.  That some people will just dislike you and there’s nothing you can do about it. That all around you, your peers will get respect for doing the wrong things. And that your reward for doing the right thing will be mostly a clear conscience and nothing else.

They don’t tell you that you should remember to always smile, because you don’t own all the problems in the world. And then the one bitter truth no one tells you is that you eventually figure out on your own…the fact that it hardly ever gets better. There’s no sunshine.  Not for long anyway, but there’s a rainbow. They don’t tell you, but you’ll figure it out sooner or later.  You’ll find that life is not about waiting for the sun to shine.. Its about learning to dance in the rain and that’s your rainbow and that’s all that matters in the END.

Jazmyne-frances is the latest @ofilispeaks guest blogger. Her identity is a mysterious mystery, she is 18 going on 80…some of her weaknesses are that she thinks too much, talks too much and reads too much. Jazmyne-frances has no idea who she is, but she knows who she wants to be. So far growing up has been frankly “lemony,” for her but you know what they say about lemons…watch out for her blog posts as she cuts through societal BS and straight to the truth.


Words by Okechukwu Ofili of
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32 comments on “The Great Big Lie

  1. happyhausabunny on said:

    I love Jazmyne’s write up! Most 18 year olds can’t write like this. I am 23 and I can totally relate to her. I love your blog Oke!

  2. nchewi on said:

    The writer is by far smarter than most 18yrs old peepz I’ve come across!! Tanx Ofili for giving her an avenue to share her thoughts n creativity!! Nice write-up!

    • Ofili

      Not a problem at all…she is an incredible writer and she already has 2 new articles that will be coming out next week!

  3. Very relatable. My younger sis (16yrs old now) always tells me she can’t wait to be grown up. I have told her being grown up is not as fun as we grown ups make it out to be. I should let her read this.
    Love your blog sir.
    Ima latest post is His EyesMy Profile

  4. Well said Jaz……thinking about it now, I kinda miss my childhood days…DEY ALL LIED! its funny how we live life forward and get to understand it backwards. Welldone again n pls kip d write-ups coming….

  5. ritaabuaniah on said:

    Big up Jaz! I love ur write up n which oda teens wld read dis n enjoy dere teens bcos it aint fun up here,n not to break ur hrt;deres more “problems” ahead:rent,job,marriage(“not wedding”),motherhood,ur sanity… Phew.

  6. Jazmine its said that experience is the best teacher, its good that u grew to experience all these yourself. Kudos girl, keep it up.

  7. Wow nice blog, I’m so inspired I wonder wat u ll be writing @ 25 a great fan of u keep it up jaz greater things ahead of u love ya

  8. Wow! this is realy great,and coming from a very recent adult,i believe you are going places. your thinking 2 much is not in vain but i think you should slow it a little.

  9. Martina on said:

    Evry1 is saying d older ones lied but come 2 fnk of it…they couldn’t possibly av told us d truth…wat did we expect dem 2 saay?? D future is terrible, don’t grow up, school would get more difficult, quit while yu still can, boys will break ur heart so don’t love, d economy is hard so don’t try 2 do anyfn 2 change it. They weren’t lieing, they were giving us hope and if dats wat we term ‘lieing’, well I say I big kudoos 2 dem and I look forward 2 living after their footsteps.

  10. I had a similar conversation with a much younger friend, and I told him “adulthood is the biggest scam”. You spend all your life waiting to grow old and take control of your life, only to get here and realize that it is a lot harder than you thought, and things don’t come as easy as we were told.

    Great write-up by Jazmyne-frances. Ofili, thanks for sharing.
    Monale Alemika latest post is Men Help Your Wives!My Profile

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