Engineering Student Predicts TB Joshua Church Building Collapse In 2012

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Breaking Satirical News

_77564608_lagosnigeria4640914LAGOS, NIGERIA – Engineering Student Efe Adelugba accurately predicts the September 12th Synagogue Church Building crash by utilizing scientific, mathematical, practical and logical building construction principles.

It all came to light when copies of Efe’s 2012 Civil Engineering thesis titled “Things Fall Apart: A Detailed Look At Why Buildings Collapse” was leaked to the press yesterday night. Although the SCOAN building was not named explicitly in the thesis, experts are still claiming that it is an accurate prediction of the September 12th event as several key factors align…

In the thesis, it is prophesized said that a foundation when loaded beyond its ultimate strength will ultimately crack under pressure causing the building to collapse. And this was exactly the case with the SCOAN building. As it collapsed when construction work was going on to raise the building to a five storey building … even though the foundation was designed for only 2-storeys!

Efe further prophesized stated that situations were such building collapse occurs could lead to deaths of dozens of people and injuries to hundreds. Again this was in line with the actual building crash collapse data where the National Emergency Management Agency (NEMA) stated that the death toll from the collapse is now at 40 with over 120 people injured. As more and more experts are reading Efe’s thesis they are coming to realize that it could be (when edited slightly) used to predict several other building collapses in Lagos between 2012 and 2014 and those that have not even happened!

When our correspondents reached Efe Adelugba … he was at his parents home where he has been for the past 2 years looking for a job. But with the viral popularity of his thesis, he is now considering dropping the search for an Engineering job and becoming a Church Entrepreneur where he will be paid millions of Naira dollars to prophesize disasters across Nigeria. When asked why he wanted to switch, Efe replied

“If T.B.Joshua can predict the obvious and get paid, why can’t I!”

Sounds logical. We even asked Efe to share other predictions with us and and he told us this …

“In December there will be many accidents on the roads of Nigeria, more than other months in the year. This is obviously because more people on holidays will be travelling on the roads and because most of our roads are bad, but as a prophet I will just blame that on the Devil.”

With the money prophets are making in Nigeria, Efe’s decision to switch is financially promising and he is being encouraged by his Parents who believe that if Efe can work on his healing skills he could be on to something. Before we left, Efe gave us another prophetic piece of advise:

“If the T.B Joshua read my thesis, he would have known that his church needed to seek approval from the Lagos state government to get sound feedback. Such action would have likely averted this disaster.”

When we asked the T.B.Joshua camp about Efe’s final statement on approval, we were told that T.B.Joshua did not need the state governments approval, because he already had the anionted approval of God. This makes sense, after all if Jesus says yes, nobody can say no.Absolutely NOBODY and this includes the Lagos state government, engineering students and Sir Isaac Newton … I mean who are they to challenge God with engineering principles.

After numerous phone calls, we were finally able to catch up with T.B. Joshua himself. And he told us that God had actually revealed to him in a dream that the building would collapse after a black aeroplane flies over it 4 times. However, he did not want to publicize the prophecy because the black Aeroplane did not crash. Per T.B. Joshua “God has ordained me to predict plane crashes and not building collapses.”

All attempts to reach “God” to verify T.B Joshua’s claim proved futile … because sadly none of the staff are anointed enough to communicate with God. So we are just left with T.B. Joshua claims and the thesis of a Civil Engineering Student.


Written and Prophesized By Okechukwu Ofili of
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Words by Okechukwu Ofili of
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49 comments on “Engineering Student Predicts TB Joshua Church Building Collapse In 2012

  1. Ofilli, Abeg tell those u correspondents to go back and ask Efe where our missing Airforce jet is possibly located.
    After all it was last sited around Boko boiz dominated air space.
    We expect feed back asap. Lol

  2. An intriguing satire! Interesting how people spread the cloak of religion over their deeply concealed self interests. Well, I’m watching, waiting, to see where our self-righteous Christianity takes us.

    Wonderful, Ofili. You write so beautifully…creating different perspectives and versions of different stories.

  3. Chai! Ofili, there is God ooo. Well, your correspondence wouldn’t know that, as they aren’t spiritual enough to decipher these things…lol.

    I was shocked and appalled to read about the ridiculous “strange airplane” excuse for a construction project that wasn’t approved. Interestingly, people drank the Koolaid (at least his church members did).

    This our “spirituality” is causing us more pain than we could imagine. Folks have been brainwashed to believe anything that goes wrong is spiritual.

    If the air commodores (witches & wizards) wanted to attack TB Joshua, dem no sabi im house? Or the guesthouse is the only place in the church without a spiritual covering?

    If this was any other building, we’d be asking the right questions but the moment it’s a church building, we throw logo out the window. Suddenly the brain refuses to reason. I beg, I nor fit shout.

    Nice one Ofili. I saw your latest IG post. I’m guessing the email is on top this building collapse matter. It’d be interesting to know how you responded (if you even cared enough to reply).
    Segun Pryme latest post is Chronicles of a Nigerian JJC in AmericaMy Profile

  4. Great piece of satire indeed. I love the part of December accidents, ‘coz I recently discussed his last collections of prophecies with a friend, where he mention a plane crash, Obama’s ill-health, Pope’s fate, and many others. I told my friend that these could be likened to say that we should pray against death of some of Nigerians before December; a prophecy against certainties! Weldone Ofili.

  5. Ofili am ready to attend night vigil, higher life conference, even cross over night if Efe can keep foretelling. Am expecting to see Efe on Ofili TV. Jide ka ije Enyi

  6. Sir'Godwin on said:

    Wow…I guess when I land in Nigeria in December by gods grace, I wont travel to Benin by road…but by airplane as we say here in the states. Compliments of my money will go to Erik Airlines, first I have to get the approval of this T.B. Joshua somebody. From Engineer to Prophet…hmm #Ekusaparre

  7. I can, but I absolutely refuse to. Lmao. Who is going to clean up the yogurt I just spat on my keyboard?

    Great way to start my Monday. No one can even succeed in vexing me today.

  8. Ofili ooo. You wee nor kee someborry with laff. I never hespered to hear that a “strange plane” flew around the building and next thing the building came down. Na wall of Jericho? At least that one required intense rigorous marching with music for 6 days and 7 times on the 7th day.
    When you build a 6 storey building on a 2 storey foundation, of course na so e go be na. Pschew.

    Well done OFili. More ink to your pen.

  9. Exactly my perspective Ofili. I watched that video and I can tell that the building happens to be on the aircraft air route, and as such probably has several planes flying over that area. Everyday. Sadly the Prophet in his “wisdom ” decided to label the planes as, terrorists. In order to curry public sympathy, distract from the real issue and sound sensational in his usual manner. Just sickening sad how Nigerian religious handle issues these days.

  10. Dami Thorpe on said:

    I saw the video about the black plane and I am wondering how does that correlate? Yet again it’s Nigeria, we hate to own up to our mistakes, we blame extra-terrestial powers. My major problem with this black plane idea is: Is he affirming that the powers of those acclaimed enemies who brought down the building using the aircraft are more powerful than the power of God he serves? Questions!

    I think he should own up… Or better still accuse Boko Haram. That may sound thoughtful.

  11. nyiedum ufot on said:

    Seriously when it comes to church matter our ” brain refuses to reason”. I tire for religion especially in Nigeria….

  12. We have a lot of prophets in Nigeria now only that most of them don’t have enough financial backing to go public. What I don’t know is if they are real or prophesying against certainties. My own prophesy 1. As Boko haram is capturing towns successfully, if our president continues like this, more towns will be captured. 2. Many cars will be involved in accident in Dec. 3. More roads will get bad b4 d end of the road. 4. More deaths in Dec. The conclusion at all times is ‘pray against’ ……….. Hahahaha I pity some pple that run from pillar to post in search of prophesy

  13. Aisha Ibrahim on said:

    Ofili! You just made my morning and here is an e-hug to you.
    God is so patient with all these “court jesters” sha!

  14. Where on earth have I been? He actually brought an airplane excuse into this? Okay, that’s it. I’m done reading the news. I just hear dumber shit every day. Smh

  15. This is my first visit and I must say I’m deeply impressed. There is nothing more to add to your exquisitely constructed disappointment we have all faced in this nation in the name of pastors. But more disappointing are the congregation that comprise supposedly erudite citizens but who also fall helplessly at the whims of these puppeteers.

    Nigeria practice a Religion that encompasses Reality while our savior, in His infinite wisdom, Jesus Christ practiced a Religion that was encompassed by Reality and this is proven when He said “Give to Caeser what belongs to Caeser and to God what belongs to God”…

  16. I had to google the meaning of satire before coming to terms with this Efe’s prophecy…Lol
    Ofili, you interestingly drove my mind to your own destination (not mine!).
    I won’t say more grease to your elbow, or more ink to your pen, but rather more satire to your head!

  17. When I first read this, I smiled a little but was too overwhelmed with sadness at the needless loss of lives to comment. However with the “bribe” drama of the last week and the fact that no one has been hauled to jail for criminal negligence. I just want to tell Efe to go into hiding to avoid another Fejiro Oliver kind of story.
    Adaeze latest post is Gizdodo according to DooneyMy Profile

  18. Pingback: Nigerian Church Buildings Now More Deadly Than Ebola (Satire) | Ofilispeaks

  19. lolade on said:

    wow. so we have such creative writers in this country and one has just been visiting average blogs? phew! this is so,so creatively refreshing……and i both laughed and thought. God bless n increase u

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