Class 5: Unlikely Heroes, Unlikely Powers, Unlikely Circumstance (Part II) #ofilix

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class2I hate school! Like really fucking hate school. #ofilix

My name is Happiness, but I rarely smile. I guess my nickname should be Oxymoron, cause that’s really how I feel #ofilix

I mean who the fuck names their child “Happiness?” Of all the names in the world! “Happinesss” what there to be happy about? #ofilix

I have pimples more active than an Oil Well. My hair is as Kinky as a stripper in a strip club. And my LIPS…LARGE. #ofilix

My life is not a fairy tale and definitely not a caterpillar waiting to become a butterfly. Its a caterpillar fighting for survival #ofilix

A caterpillar stuck in a class full of butterflies. Why? I have no boobs, my ass is nothing to write home about. And my hair… #ofilix

Well let’s not go there. I wish I was like Chichi with long curly hair and skin the texture of luscious leather. Everyone likes her #ofilix

But I hate her. “Why is she so fucking perfect!” sorry for cursing. I curse a lot, but in my head. I am too weak to get punished. #ofilix

At least there is Physics. o physics…Mr. Boateng, our physics teacher. The only one who knows I exist. The only one who listens… #ofilix

Why only yesterday, I told him how I was able to recharge my TIGER battery by simply rubbing it in my hair. #ofilix

I know he thought I was lying but it was true….well at least he listened. Cause no one else would. No one #fml #ofilix

I wish someone would though. Because of late my body has been changing. Not puberty…cause I still have no fucking boobs. #ofilix

Or maybe it is…who knows. I mean last night, I could swear the light bulb in our hostel, flickered every time I blinked. #ofilix

And let’s not forget about the fact that I have never gotten malaria! I mean in Nigeria! That like not having AIDS in… #ofilix

You know what…never mind. The crazy fact is not the malaria but the fact that I have never been bitten by a mosquito in my life #ofilix

Something about me pushes them away…repels them. I am like super insect repellant! #ofilix

But there was that one day…the day I hit my head on the dormitory lockers. I mean like wtf…who leaves lockers oepn in the dark NEPA light? #ofilix

The requires several stitches and a not so flattering bald cut. Not the best days of my life. #ofilix

It was not because of the mockery…I mean Mrs. No Boobs…I am used to that already.#ofilix

It was the fact that I got bitten by insects…all sorts of insects. Not a big deal under normal circumstances, but this was quite different. #ofilix

I had never been bitten by an insect before! So you can understand I did not react too well. But as soon as my hair came back… #ofilix

The bites stopped. I think my hair has something to do with everything. #ofilix

That’s not the sort of thing you tell people. They might think I am crazier than I already am. And I think I am crazy enough. #ofilix

“What does irony mean!” the teacher yells. Breaking my thought pattern. I realize that i am still in fucking English class. #ofilix

And that poor bloke, the daydreamer has no idea what the answer is. Poor chap, but brilliant. I wonder what he dreams about. #ofilix

Probably girls with big boobs…fine girls with no pimples. Definitely not me…the funny one. The weird one…the Oxymoron. #ofilix

#Oxymoron A girl named “Happiness” that fucking hates herself and the world. To be continued … #ofilix

ofilixOfilix is the untapped fictional half of @ofilispeaks. ofilix is 33.54% human and 66.46% mutant and still mutating. His powers…the uncanny ability to fuse real life world with the fictional world seamlessly and project them across the world wide internet. He has no twitter account or facebook page and abhors instagram. ofilix believes in equality and democracy but is willing to go to extreme limits to ensure that justice prevails, even if it means trampling on the rights of the truly evil!



Words by Okechukwu Ofili of
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4 comments on “Class 5: Unlikely Heroes, Unlikely Powers, Unlikely Circumstance (Part II) #ofilix

  1. Oh my goodness! Read the 1st part much earlier, wasn’t feeling it then. Read it again now, and then this. The pace, the sequence, the blending of the whole story…this is smoother than fufu and draw soup. Keep it up.

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