What Is The Yoyo System?

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The yoyo system (not to be confused with the yahoo yahoo system) is the defacto system of life in Nigeria.

Everywhere where you go you see Nigerians yoyo-ing through life. So what is the yoyo system? Yoyo simply means that You’re On Your Own! Yoyo!

In the yoyo system you pay taxes but you have no idea what those taxes are used for … but what does that matter! In the yoyo system you provide everything for yourself.

If there is no electricity in your house, no problem just yoyo it with your own generator and inverter.

Armed robber terrorizing your neighborhood for years and no police to be found? Just yoyo it and get your own dog, your own burglary proof and if you can afford it … yoyo your own personal police man with pistol AK47.

Ah! Government is not supplying water to your neighborhood, what! Please yoyo that borehole and get that water yourself. Can’t afford a borehole, you better catch rain water.

You want good road because you paid land tax? Ehen so what? You want to government to provide road in front of your house? Stay there … you better join your mates and buy made in Japan yoyo SUV … with 4 wheel drive for all terrain, muddy road, wet road and no road!

You don’t have a job? Wetin concern government … biko yoyo it and create your own job. Capital? You better yahoo it … I mean yoyo it.

Boko haram is bombing your village … you better form a yoyo vigilante group and fight them yourself!

When in doubt, just yoyo it! The yoyo system serving Nigerians for years … I mean Nigerians serving themselves for years … So when the government comes to ask you to pay tax, better tell them to yoyo it.

PS: Have you yoyo-ed recently? Please share your yoyo tales with us and you might win a free yo yo!

Serious Ofili: All jokes aside I strongly believe that Nigerians should pay taxes, but the government needs to do more to earn the trust of Nigerians. But we will get there…

twitterWritten By Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
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Ofili

Author: Ofili

Words by Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
Follow him on Twitter
Stalk him on Instagram
Read his crazy titled books on konga or okadabooks
Feed his children at…no wait he has no kids…. 

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17 comments on “What Is The Yoyo System?

  1. Hmmm. You neva see anything!
    In my vicinity we had to contribute money to yoyo a transformer and pay NEPA to install it!
    Some good samaritans had to collect ‘offering’ and put in free hours inorder to yoyo a drainage and make good a swampy excuse of a road.
    And if u see the impunity with which those tax collectors extract monies eh…even coming with police smtimes, if u wan form Martin Luther based on “this is not fair!” my brother you go know why keshi be wan quit after AFCON!
    Like my friend said: “In Nigeria, every man is his own local government”
    Ofili i move a motion that we go back to our old anthem/pledge; Nigeria we hail thee!

    • Seyi on said:

      Mrpossible, do you live in Abeokuta? Cos you just mentioned the same thing that happens in my area. Light goes off on and off. Spoils today, they contribute money to repair. Spoilt later again. We contributed money for our own transformer over three years ago with the stand for the transformer ready, but nepa still hasn’t shown up with it. We paid like 3 times for it but it is still on the high seas I guess. The transformer they joined us to got vandalised and we had to pay nepa millions before they repaired it after 3 months. They brought the old parts that they said were stolen back and fixed it. Days later it broke down and our ritual of fixing and using ensued again. Thieves terrorised us for years that the landlords came together to form an association. We made gates round the estate, got hausa night guards, got expensive padlocks with sirens, a whistle and the likes before we broke the stronghold of the thieves. Roads we make it. Our area has a river that flows into the Ogun river. This river separated us from the other part of the town, community had to erect wooden pedestrian bridges until a very rich man that lives in the area made a concrete motor able bridge and a dusty road. The remaining bridges are still wooden. Water is borehole by the rich while the not so privileged come fetch from the rich or consult the river. The government wants to collect tax with these conditions. I support tax but not when it is just lining their pockets. I know how much my dad has paid over the years for what the government ought to provide and his tax is always automatically deducted.

  2. Ayodeji on said:

    Just yesterday ℓ̊ was just thinking about how many of my friends Secondary school and well mostly those we graduated together 4years ago from the so called higher institution have been fairing.

    It dawned on me that we have a system in Ofili’s words that has put everyone on the yoyo high way.

    Nigerian youths are just churned out and left bereft of nothing, no direction, no job, no loan, no infrastructure †☺ birth great ideas.

    It saddened me that most youth ℓ̊ know who had great ideas and hope have been left †☺ settle for the non-existing jobs, meager salaries and so much expectations from the society.

    This yoyo system can’t last, it cannot take us †☺ where we wanna be, some of us might be die hard optimist and refuse †☺ visit embassies or settle for a ridiculous job but one day the roof will cave in except we play our part and hold our rulership (public office holders) responsible for their own part.

    This yoyo system is a social security system that is not structured and can never be structured, therefore it will fail us one day soon if nothing is done †☺ right all wrong

  3. Arinze on said:

    We can’t become a great world leader with this yoyo system/mindset. Collaborative effort to solve problems and reach goals is what’s best for our country.

  4. As a Nigerian, I have always believed in “if you don’t like where you live, create your own world”.

    Yesterday I read an article that was posted 2 years ago where a serving governor decided to pass his retirement plan into law – and the lawmakers were proud to back it up with the excuse that the structure doesn’t have a support system for politicians, rather leaders, after they leave office.

    That’s a clear case of Yoyo-ing at the highest level. If the top is Yoyo-ing, what else do you expect from the people?
    Edima Inwang latest post is What if?My Profile

  5. I don’t understand…isnt yoyo-ING the norm?

    You mean government is supposed to use our tax to provide us light and water and good roads? I thought tax is the fee we pay for being Nigerians…no?

    Ofili thanks for this eye-opener. I’ll sleep on it
    Nutty Jay latest post is Bokoharam Is Not The EnemyMy Profile

  6. Deji on said:

    abeg! Yoyoing is soooo regular!

    am very very fortunate though, where I live was carefully chosen! the deputy Govt. stays a few houses away hence light is super constant! and ofcourse good roads! I dont want 2015 to come yet! i am still loving the security, electricity and good roads, ofilli we even have pedestrian walkway on my street! loool!

    For now I do not have a generator. I hate that thing and their noise! am still feeling like an ajebutter! loool

  7. alex on said:

    i personally feel every Nigerian should be awarded a noble peace prize or at least time man of the year award…looking at all the average Nigerian has to do just to live a normal life just amazes me…from the basic to the not so basic….
    nice blog by the way…
    keep writing

  8. UnilagOlodo on said:

    Haha! Aside the government’s nonchalance my webhost suddenly went down, left his office and switched off phones. I has to Yoyo sleepless nights taking crash courses to know what I had to do to save my website. It’s not just those high up now, you pay for services you still have to Yoyo it at some point or you get bad result or just abandoned projects. You park your car at the bank or restaurant and still pay the security to ensure your car doesn’t stroll off lol… It is well

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