What Is The Yoyo System?
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The yoyo system (not to be confused with the yahoo yahoo system) is the defacto system of life in Nigeria.
Everywhere where you go you see Nigerians yoyo-ing through life. So what is the yoyo system? Yoyo simply means that You’re On Your Own! Yoyo!
In the yoyo system you pay taxes but you have no idea what those taxes are used for … but what does that matter! In the yoyo system you provide everything for yourself.
If there is no electricity in your house, no problem just yoyo it with your own generator and inverter.
Armed robber terrorizing your neighborhood for years and no police to be found? Just yoyo it and get your own dog, your own burglary proof and if you can afford it … yoyo your own personal police man with pistol AK47.
Ah! Government is not supplying water to your neighborhood, what! Please yoyo that borehole and get that water yourself. Can’t afford a borehole, you better catch rain water.
You want good road because you paid land tax? Ehen so what? You want to government to provide road in front of your house? Stay there … you better join your mates and buy made in Japan yoyo SUV … with 4 wheel drive for all terrain, muddy road, wet road and no road!
You don’t have a job? Wetin concern government … biko yoyo it and create your own job. Capital? You better yahoo it … I mean yoyo it.
Boko haram is bombing your village … you better form a yoyo vigilante group and fight them yourself!
When in doubt, just yoyo it! The yoyo system serving Nigerians for years … I mean Nigerians serving themselves for years … So when the government comes to ask you to pay tax, better tell them to yoyo it.
PS: Have you yoyo-ed recently? Please share your yoyo tales with us and you might win a free yo yo!
Serious Ofili: All jokes aside I strongly believe that Nigerians should pay taxes, but the government needs to do more to earn the trust of Nigerians. But we will get there…
Written By Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
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