When In Trouble…Just Yell

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You are driving…you get pulled over by LASTMA or the Nigerian Police, they accuse you of violating a traffic rule. They point to the traffic sign, but the sign is hidden by overgrown bushes and shrubs artificially placed there by the officers themselves. You try to logic reasonably with them, but nothing works. Before you know it, one tire has been deflated and then another and then another…suddenly you spark and yell: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!

Instantly the LASTMA official freezes and the Police officer cringes. There is a look of fear on their faces…you sense something is happening. So you keep yelling DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM. By now they are completely quiet and you are growing in confidence, so you jump out of your car against the wishes of your passengers and go into the officers faces and yell DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM. All of a sudden they start begging you to leave and apologize for their rubbish, one of them is so scared he almost pees his pants. You drive off…but not before you look the officers down and release a long Nigerian hisssss.

You have just perfectly executed the most powerful phrase in Nigerian history DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM! That phrase brings fear to people hearts and makes short people seem taller. So the next time you find yourself in trouble…just yell: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!

WARNING: This phrase only works in Nigeria…if you try it abroad and you enter prison…ofilispeaks will not come and bail you out.

WARNING #2: If you are not driving a correct car…and you yell DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM…you will chop slap. Again ofilispeaks will not come and bail you out.

NOTE: If you are confused as to whether your car is a correct car, then you probably don’t have a correct car.

Ofili is an award winning stalker motivational speaker, author, success coach and does not know who he is entrepreneur who blogs about life, success and entrepreneurial excellence. Follow him on twitter , facebook or subscribe to his blog for more success TIPS!” To bring Ofili to your school or organization as a speaker simply go here.

He has written two books, How Laziness Saved My Life and the best-selling How Stupidity Saved My Life, to find out how they both saved his life visit ofilispeaks.com his latest book is titled How Intelligence Kills Us and will be coming out in the first quarter of 2013 (he hopes).

Wishing You Extreme Success,


Author: Ofili

Words by Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
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12 comments on “When In Trouble…Just Yell

  1. hehehehehehehehehe, I think it works in Lagos I don’t think its gonna work in Port Harcourt with those crazy touts “Ala dia” Indigenes of Rivers State, cos dey know their people.

    • Ofili

      lol…I thought PH was even worse sef as in DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM is more prevalent. O well. Let me test it first and report back.

  2. Ayomipo on said:

    Oh my God!!! I can’t stop laughing!!! Especially the part of the car owner not being sure whether or not his car is correct…I’m almost peeing on myself and I’m sure if I do Ofili won’t take responsibility for that too!

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