Clients Drink Vodka Not Milk

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So this weekend, I am working on a business presentation for a friends new drink company, when I stumble upon this joke on…it goes…

I tend to write LOL a lot even when I am clearly not laughing…but this one of those times that I was completely laughing out loud. And before I had even finished laughing out loud I had tweeted the joke on twitter, updated my status on facebook and repinned the picture on pinterest! And the reaction was the same…everybody loved the joke, shared the joke and retweeted the joke.

But after the laughter subsided, logic began to set in. Because as funny as the joke was, it is actually true. If I ever did get missing and my face was put on a fresh carton of milk, my friends would not realize I am missing until my dead body was found the milk had spoiled. But if my face was put on a wine bottle, or Vodka bottle, or Beer can…I would probably be found within days! I am not saying my friends are alcoholics, at least not all of them, maybe just a few, like a small few…Let’s just say I have never seen my friends drink milk. But alcohol…as long as they don’t get high drunk before noticing my picture on the bottle…I am safe, because that is what my friends drink.

Several years ago businesses put their adverts on Televisions because that is where people where. Almost everyone had a TV set and congregated around it to watch the news or national telecasts.

But with the introduction of cable and the subsequent channel explosion cable created…Television changed. People still had TV’s in their houses, but they no longer congregated around the TV set to watch the same program, the channel explosion meant Mum and Dad could watch their his program, while the teenagers could watch theirs…that’s if the teenagers could agree on a channel to watch without killing themselves.

But then came the internet and youtube and hulu and everything changed. The television lost it’s place as the king of the house…not only did people stop congregating around televisions, in some cases they stopped watching it altogether. The reason was because the internet gave people control to consume whatever the heck they wanted and when they wanted. Advertisers panicked, because for the first time they could not interrupt your video and force you to watch their 30 second advert on a product that you would never consume. Soon the advertisers became missing …because they still stuck their adverts on milk cartons (television) and ignored the wine and vodka bottles (the internet), while people like myself got drunk and addicted off the internet.

But then a marketer in a far away place cracked a joke that went like this:

People probably laughed at the joke…but in the midst of the laughter…logic began to set in and one crazy advertiser put an advert on the internet and then another crazy advertiser and then soon everyone was putting adverts on the internet. They realized that adverts needed to go where the consumers where…and that was how the internet adsense craze began.

As a business…do you know where your customers are? What they are doing? In August of this year I had no idea where mine where until I got a call from They were interested in placing my books on their site, we spoke and agreed on a deal and a discount as well as the duration of the sale. But I frankly was just looking at this as a fun exercise, to me nobody bought books online, at least not in Nigeria. If I sold 10-15 books that would have been awesome in my opinion.

We ran the adverts and long story short, we sold over 120 books in less than a week! To put that in perspective It takes me 3-4 months to sell that same amount in bookstores. But somehow  I had found my vodka drinking clients…it was on the internet…

We all have a vodka bottle out there, a place where we can market our businesses and products when we go missing on old traditional platforms. It might not necessarily be the internet for everybody…but there is a place that exists out there for everyone. Find your wine bottles, your vodka bottles and your beer cans today and for Christ’s sake stop posting your adverts on Milk Cartons!

Ofili is an award winning liar motivational speaker, author, success coach and chicken hunter entrepreneur who blogs about life, success and entrepreneurial excellence. Follow him on twitter , facebook or subscribe to his blog for more success TIPS!” To bring Ofili to your school or organization as a speaker simply go here. He has written two books, How Laziness Saved My Life and the best-selling How Stupidity Saved My Life, to find out how they both saved his life visit

Wishing You Extreme Success,


Author: Ofili

Words by Okechukwu Ofili of
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45 comments on “Clients Drink Vodka Not Milk

  1. LaizaLounge on said:

    Great and funny article. We definitely need to find our Vodka bottles in whatever area we venture into. ‘Embracing mine*

    Thanks for sharing Ofili 🙂

  2. You are always on point bro, I really appreciate your creative ways of driving home serious points that could just be the difference.

  3. i’ve realized that the most serious issues always come across as a joke……that’s why i listen ATTENTIVELY to jokes :D. Another great article……….Ofili u’r goooooooooooooooood!

  4. Akinbaye on said:

    On a very serious note, the statement sounds like a joke but in reality teaching us one of the important principles in advertisement. Ad is better placed where the target audience or consumers can hear or see it..

  5. Nice article. Clearly shows the business environment as we know it is evolving. we have to move with the changing times.

  6. Nice article Oke, I like the way Ʋ always leave a twist in your writing, keeping me (d Audience) guessing and tryna figure out where in the h*ll is dis Guy heading to, only untill Ʋ bring us home to the most endeering issues @ hand… I’d love to learn that
    I luv reading the comments too they’re lifting-Let’s me know wat peeps are thinking about.

    I’m not d commentin type. Bt Halleluyah! Iv been filled, 😉 Maybe if I read ur articles enough, I’d learn to write like Ʋ do.

  7. This is my favourite article from you since I started following your blog. As a budding entreprenuer, the analogy of the vodka and milk bottles is apt. Truth is, I didnt know about you until I found your book offer on deal dey. Here’s hoping I find my vodka bottle soonest!

  8. i quite appreciate your ability to sensitize the mindset of every entrepreneur on how to reach their targeted market. kudos to you bro.

  9. Species on said:

    Please, seriously, where did you do your elementary education? I shall be forced to send my child for qualilty education…. u are too amazing in ur write ups! U’re a genus!

  10. Courage Mbon on said:

    This indeed is a master piece! I A̶̲̥̅♏ tempted to say that this is the best Nigerian write up I’ve read in a long time; but I ain’t that though… Lol. Ofili is always on point! Thumbs up bro! If you stay in Uyo; I would’ve asked you to do Vodka with ♏ξ sometime!

  11. Hey there, just simply become attentive to a person’s website by way of Yahoo, and discovered that it must be absolutely insightful. Now i am gonna look out for brussels. I am gracious for individuals who proceed this kind of from now on. A lot of people might be reaped the benefit through your crafting. Many thanks!

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