Virginity Is Overrated: Part II
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So a few days ago, I wrote an article titled Virginity Is Overrated and boy did I get criticized for that article!
People told me that they will not read my blog again, some said that I was promoting promiscuity and many said they were disappointed that I would use my platform to bash good moral values. So after much pressure … I have decided to apologize for …. absolutely nothing … okay maybe I could have written the article a bit better and not been so harsh on virgins … maybe …
But I still feel that virginity in Nigeria is a largely overrated and feminist phenomenon and it does more harm than good for our country. One of my most salient issues (out of many) with virgin worship is that it gives parents an excuse not to talk about sex.
And when you don’t talk about sex you create an atmosphere of dangerous secrecy! I call it dangerous because I know this…children like Adam and Eve will touch and even eat the Apple that God (the Parents) have told them not to touch, its human nature!
In other words children in Nigeria will find a way to have secretive sex, whether you lock them up in a boarding house or shackle them at your house gate or send them to Jehovah Witness Church Camp … they will find away to have sex! The sooner we accept this the better … the better because chances that your Daughter or Son is a virgin beyond 1st year University level is low …
But I understand as a man writing about virginity my message my come across … so I will share a personal and true but anonymous story from a female teenager via Huffington post teens….
What Losing My Virginity Made Me Realize
By Miranda, 17
Sex was always a taboo topic growing up. It was uncomfortable to talk about and was more known as “that dirty thing that only married couples can participate in.”
I grew up going to a very conservative Christian school. They were so scared that all of us would have sex that they didn’t even teach sex ed. The only thing we were taught was abstinence only. Anyone who had sex outside of marriage was “dirty” and was looked upon differently. This is what I learned as a 13 to 14 year-old. It made me uncomfortable to even think about people having sex with their significant others.
Now, fast-forward to high school. Same school, just older. Same exact doctrine for sex. But now I questioned it. It didn’t make sense why virginity was so important to these people.
At 16, I lost my virginity to a guy I hardly knew — and it was so much fun. It wasn’t something sacred. It wasn’t life-changing and it didn’t make me any “less” than the other students. So now that I knew sex wasn’t a scary thing, I started to do my research: how to have safe sex, the right and wrong things about sex — anything I could to educate myself. I felt so overwhelmed because I had been taught nothing about this subject. I wanted to learn everything about it so that I could understand why people viewed it so negatively.
What I found was there’s a lot of false information. There’s a lot of ignorant adults too, who believe not teaching something will prevent it. I knew that this was incorrect. So I did all in my power to make sure I had safe sex and started telling my friends what I learned. It’s been over a year now since I’ve lost my virginity read full article here
Now I am not saying we should start telling children to have sex … no. What I am saying is that we should talk about sex with the assumption that children are already having sex. And most importantly don’t let them define their self-worth on the basis of whether or not they are virgins. Q.E.D.
Written and Illustrated By Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
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