Two Cows…The Missing Nigerian Cows Are Finally Found

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“You have two cows” refers to a popular form of political satire involving variations of a scenario, where what occurs to the cows is used to demonstrate how certain political systems function.

Every time I read the series, I always wonder why there is no Nigerian version, I mean there is an American version, A Russian version and even a Chinese version but never a Nigerian version.

However, according to Toni Morrison “If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”

Based on that advise I have decided to write the Nigerian version of Two Cows that I have always yearned for. But before I showed you what I did, I will share with you versions from 3 other countries. Enjoy …

AN IRAQI CORPORATIONiraqi

A CHINESE CORPORATIONchinese

AN AMERICAN CORPORATIONamerican

AND FINALLY … THE NIGERIAN CORPORATIONNigerian Cow 2

PS: If you think you can do something better, funnier and crazier, then drop your very own NIGERIAN 2 COWS BLURB below. The best one (in my own opinion) will get copies of all my 4 books and also a graphic will be created similar to the one above with your name. Do you have what it takes?

twitterWords by Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
Follow him on Twitter
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Read his crazy titled books on konga or okadabooks
Feed his children at…no wait he has no kids…. 

Ofili

Author: Ofili

Words by Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
Follow him on Twitter
Stalk him on Instagram
Read his crazy titled books on konga or okadabooks
Feed his children at…no wait he has no kids…. 

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18 comments on “Two Cows…The Missing Nigerian Cows Are Finally Found

  1. You have two cows
    You share one of the cows among social elites
    You get indigenes to milk the other cow but you don’t pay them
    You hire foreigners to milk the same cow
    You send this milk abroad for processing,
    Then the milk is sold back to you at a much more higher price, which you then subsidize with money borrowed from those selling the milk you.
    Now there’s Milk scarcity, you blame the cow for not eating enough grass
    Ame latest post is THE NATURAL HAIR BONDAGEMy Profile

  2. You have two cows. They are milked to death. A committee is set up to look into why the cows died, meanwhile, the two cows have bred 400 other cows that were never recorded, who are being milked prematurely by few elites.

  3. noigwegbe on said:

    You have 2 Cows
    You dash one to foreigners for free
    They milk your cow abroad and inflate the prize of milk
    You borrow money from World Bank afford forex and subsidy to import the milk, and the country is broke
    Meanwhile the other cow is milked in Nigeria
    But Nigerians refuse to buy the cheaper milk
    because the milk is too local for them

  4. You have 2 cows
    You dash one to foreigners for free
    They milk your cow abroad and inflate the price of milk
    You borrow from World Bank to afford Forex and subsidy to import the milk, and the country goes broke
    Meanwhile the other cow is milked in Nigeria
    But Nigerians refuse to buy the cheaper milk
    Because the milk is too local for them.

  5. You have two cows
    You don’t milk nor feed the cows
    You import milk from other cows
    Because you think there milk is better
    Which is actually better because they are fed by the owners

  6. You have 2 cows.
    You bring in experts to watch over one of these cows, you name this cow prize cow.
    You leave the other cow to local hands with no support.
    The prize cow produces prize milk which is only enjoyed by few.
    All of a sudden, the prize milk turns sour then you now remember the other cow and expect it’s miraclulous recovery after years of neglect

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  8. You have two cows
    You milk them and share the milk with a selected few. Then choose great representatives that can spend time to make excuses to the rest of the public on why the milk cannot be accessed by all

  9. You have two cows
    You bury the legs of one in concrete and take the other to the amusement park
    After it has been rode on and has slumped..you remember had another one
    You run back to pull it out to save a face at the park…but it had been helped out by kind passers by…You scream and issue threats..even resolve to make those false promises because you need it desperately…
    Do you really think it’ll handed back for your misuse and abuse??

  10. You have 2 cows, u employ foreigners to milk dem, and unqualified brothers of your brother’s brother and cousins and those u owe a favor, to supervise dem foreigners. You share milk between those with perforated milk tanks, Milk finishes and cows are undernourished, u borrow money from foreign milk reservoirs and u still claim to be d giant milk owner in Africa…

    What a life…nysc has been postponed twice already…a Dr that can’t move forward because some milk distributors won’t let me be..

    I already bought and read all your books, if u eventually like my post or not, I’d wish to get those throw pillows… For my mum :)

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