The Top 5 Rooms Every Nigerian House Must Have
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Building a house in Nigeria is a big deal … it’s a sign that you have arrived! But with great houses comes great responsibility …
Especially in Nigeria where you need to ensure that your house is built for the Nigerian weather. And when I say “weather,”I am not talking about rainy season or dry season … I am talking about “whether” your house has the right type of rooms in it.
For example where will your unannounced visitors from the village sleep? Or where will you put your 15 kva Generator? These are questions you have to consider before you start buying Dangote cement or digging bore-hole.
But not to worry, thanks to the awesome* ofilispeaks.com research staff we were able to gather a list of The Top 5 Rooms Every Nigerian House Must Have!
WARNING: Read this article before you start building your house!
Room #1: The Generator Room
Due to Nigeria’s dark dark climate, every house needs a special room to protect their generator. You see the generator is a critical member of the family, its eats, it drinks, it cries and sometimes its needs its
diaper oil changed.
The Generator room is normally located far away from the house to shield family members and visitors from the loud noises. The “gen room” as it is more fondly referred to as does not need to be lavish, just a simple concrete building and an aluminium roof is more than enough.
Think about your generator room like you think about your dog. Important, but not important enough for excessive lavishness. You just want your generator to be comfortable enough to provide you electricity when NEPA disappoints.
Room #2: The Security Room
In a country where the Police shows up 24 hours after the crime has occurred, you have to take matters into your own hands! That’s why your house will need a security room.
The security room is used to house your gate-man … who after your dog, endless religious stickers, prayers and holy water is your last line of defense from members of the underworld. But don’t get it twisted, his job is not to protect you per se, he is not Arnold Schwarzenegger!
His job is to simply alert you by screaming before running away …
Room #3: The Visitors Room
It is a deeply rooted Nigerian tradition for friends, relatives and strangers to show up to your house unannounced. There is nothing wrong with that, after all it is a part of our culture of “surprise.”
The only problem is when they refuse to leave … and sadly you can’t kick them out …
So you need to get yourself a Visitors Room. One that is well furnished and normally the one with the only functioning Air Conditioner in the house after the Master-bedroom. You don’t want the people from your village to tell others that they were sweating in your house tsk tsk!
The visitor’s room is also a place that no one else can sleep in except maybe your older son or daughter … but under the understanding that they can be randomly kicked to the couch at anytime!
Room #4 The BQ or Boys Quarters
Show me a Nigerian House and I will show you a BQ. The BQ is easily the most important part of any Nigerian house. Without a BQ your house is technically not in Nigeria!
Your BQ is a multipurpose part of the house, it is like a mini-house where your House-helps sleeps in and where the gate-man shits.
The BQ is normally built from the left over parts of your building construction material. You do this because you want it to be comfortable, but not so comfortable that house-help begins to think they can live like the Oga.
The BQ is also where your unemployed son or daughter might later live in. So you have to make sure that you build a BQ that is upgradable. But again you don’t want to upgrade it so lavishly that your children get too comfortable and refuse to leave …
Room #5 The Storage Room
Please don’t waste your time building a garage in your house, that is for American houses. Nigerians don’t believe in garages, it is a waste of time and space. If you build a garage, chances that that garage will be turned into a storage room is quite high.
Because Nigerians store everything … from petrol to diesel to beer!
So you will need to have a big storage room. Not a pantry but a special dedicated storage room. One that contains enough resources to keep your family alive for at least 1 month in the event that an inevitable strike causes food, petrol and diesel scarcity all at the same time! Like the boy scouts say “Be Prepared!”
After reading this, you are now ready to build yourself a true Nigerian home.
But if you feel that our researchers have been sloppy in their research and that they missed out any rooms unique to Nigeria, please let us know and we will ensure that someone gets fired!
Written and Researched by Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
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