#Obama Bans Space Travel To Prevent Spread Of #Ebola To Other Planets
This post has been seen 6636 times.
Breaking Satirical News
Dallas, Texas – After the first recorded Ebola case in Dallas, the American government is working hard to contain the spread of the disease. Their first line of action is to look into stopping all flights from Africa as recommended by Bill O’Reilly of the CDC (Center Of Disease Control).
“Even though the only African countries with the disease are Liberia, Sierra Leone and Guinea … the government wants to be extra sure.” said an unofficial CDC spokesperson when asked about the seemingly excessive African flight ban.
But the US government is not stopping there!
In a stunning 297 to 133 special session vote, the US House of Representatives has voted to finally approve the building of a fence between America and Mexico. This is to ensure that no one from Texas illegally crosses into Mexico and spreads the deadly disease.
The bill is expected to make it through the Senate. But according to inside sources, the Senate are expected to pass an extended/modified version of the bill. The updated version would add provision for fences to be built not just at the Mexico border but all around Texas…
“Even though we stop the disease from spreading to Mexico, there is still a risk of having the disease spread to neighboring states like Oklahoma and Louisiana.” said Senator Ted Cruz of Texas.
Fortunately, funding for a New Mexico State fence is already provided under the original House of Reps bill, whose members accidentally assumed New Mexico to be a newer part of Mexico.
The final and most drastic step however was ordered by US President Barrack Obama just a few hours ago…
In his address to a very panicked nation … Obama stated that all NASA space programs will be suspended to ensure that Ebola is not accidentally spread to other planets. This ban includes any attempts by NASA to land on the Moon and even Mars. According to NASA disease expert Donald Trump … there is a strong possibility that Ebola could be transmitted to Aliens. And Aliens with their superior technology could then use Ebola as a biological weapon against Earth.
At the end of the day, the American government is doing all they can do to protect its people and the planet Earth … although nobody could confirm if Africa was really part of planet Earth at the time of publishing.
Written By Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
Follow him on Twitter
Stalk him on Instagram
Read his crazy titled books on konga or okadabooks
Feed his children at…no wait he has no kids…but he has a BB that has sadly reached its limit.
You might also like: