Starbucks =/

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Ofili

Author: Ofili

Words by Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
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40 comments on “Starbucks =/

  1. Eric Imasogie on said:

    “Im glad you’re enjoying your coffee sir, cuz just a few hours ago our stock plummeted , so while your sitting here sipping away, Im cashing into SBUX! haha!!”

    [as of Oct. 2008]

  2. Aruoture on said:

    **muttering under her breath**

    “Gosh will he ever leave? If he stays hee any longer he’ll qualify for overtime.”

  3. *Starbucks staff mutters to herself*

    Pidgin English version: “If no be say Starbucks wan restore their momentum to regain their 42% shares back, I for don hit you with this broom. I don’t blame you for sleeping here, na the Jazz we dey play!!!”

    English version: “If it wasn’t that Starbucks needs to restore its momentum and regain it’s 42% shares, I would have smacked you with this broom a long time ago. I don’t blame you for falling asleep, it’s the jazz!”

  4. Ofili

    If it falls your lot to be a starbucks sweeper, sweep like Michelangelo painted pictures, sweep like Beethoven composed music, sweep like Shakespeare wrote poetry. Sweep so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause and say: Here lived a great sweeper who did his job well!

    SO START SWEEPING AND STOP STARRING AT ME!

  5. Pingback: Tweets that mention SKETCHES OF LIFE » Starbucks =/ -- Topsy.com

  6. Did you know that the sugar in your coffee was made by enslaved Haitians?
    click link-http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0MKY/is_5_30/ai_n26804882/

  7. Chinwe on said:

    “true colors”

    they’re trying to tell u they’re not as nice as you may think… i.e. get out we’re closing!

  8. “How are you doing today sir?”
    “Not too good, I had to escape from my nagging wife”
    “Ok. I can see why you here, starbucks has a soothing environment, very laid back, a place you can relax and….”
    ***She gets interrupted by him****
    “Just buying away time my dear, Glamour Girls Club around the corner opens in 15mins, will be out soon!”

    PS: Studies have shown that 65% of men in strip clubs go there relax from the “stress” from home. Go figure!

  9. Sweeper: “So if I move the mop like so, and ease up at a 90 degree angle, the dust particles will make their way into his cup, perfectly. Ha, I knew that degree in Mathematics wouldn’t be a complete waste.”

  10. Uche Chibueze on said:

    “Stay on your grind young man and soon you will be like me and have chump cleaning up your coffee grinds”

  11. Starbucks coffee $5.00, overtstayed welcome $4.00, me ramming the stick up his “IPAD” priceless! Now that’s wassup!

  12. Sooo really this is the crap I have to deal with for minimum wage, I need to get a degree *Mental note Call ITT tomorrow*

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