Sometimes I Feel Like Bruce Wayne But Without The Money

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One of the most difficult questions I struggle to answer is this “what do you do?”

Most of the time I tell them that I am an Engineer by day and a writer by night but depending on the situation I might just say I am an Engineer. But what I would really like to say is this…

Evolution-of-Batmobile-05That every morning I wake up like Bruce Wayne without the money and jump into the Batmobile which is really just a 2012 Toyota Camry but at least its a sports edition so that must count for something. I drive through the crazy streets of Gotham and most of the time arrive to work like the Toby McGuire Spiderman … late and tired.

My co-workers tell me … boy you look tired but I just try to brush it off, if only I could tell them that only last night I battled 2-3 right-wing extremists on Facebook, wrote another blog article about another of my crazy experiences at Starbucks, that I hopped on an early 2 am meeting with developers in Ukraine to work out the next okadabooks.com feature that might just make our app go viral and went through yet another series of edits for another book I am writing … plus wrote several sketch ideas for the next episode of What’s Up Africa!

But instead I just smile and tell them “it was a long night.” If only they knew!

If only they knew that sometimes I get so exhausted at work that I jump into my car Fast and Furious style and zig-zag through the mean streets of Gotham I mean Houston so that I could just catch a nap in the comfort of my car just for 60 lunch minutes.

pursuit-of-happyness

If only they knew that sometimes when the traffic is so bad or when I am so exhausted and the coffee + red bull + 5 hour energy have lost all effects … that I jump into a vacant phone booth and rip my shirt off like Superman toilet stall not to shit but to sleep. Sleep, just like Will Smith in Pursuit of Happiness in the toilet! Hoping that nobody breaks in to see my embarrassing state … I don’t if this is what they meant by the phrase “If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.”

It’s the life I chose I guess … to juggle so many things, to sleep in weird places, to be infatuated with so many thoughts and ideas that when I walk across the parking lot to go home I could be heard seen talking to myself like a crazed mutant. Now I understand how Charles Xavier feels to have a million thoughts in his head.

53329L (1)But then if I was Charles Xavier smart then maybe I would have written that book about the Class of Secondary School students with special Mutant powers or that one about the boy who could fly. But I never have time … as I stumble into bed…afraid to sleep lest I forget one of the many ideas that would make my blog go viral. So I stick a note pad to the side of my bed and wake up in the middle of the night to write down the ideas that float around in my dreams. But most times I fall sleep and wake up with a blank notepad and the cycle begins again.

But sometimes I wake up and I am no longer Bruce Wayne or Toby McGuire or Will Smith or Charles Xavier. Sometimes I just wake up feeling like Tony Starks … not Iron Man because I am afraid of heights and guns … but more like the human Tony Stark. Not the genius, billionaire, playboy but the philanthropist. Those are the days I wake up with the realization that despite all the craziness, it is sometimes worth it when you give to the world your talent. Who knows what okadabooks might become or how much that 4th book will sell or what disease this blog could cure next … lol

So on that note I celebrate my 33rd birthday a week late with a gift of a N100,000 to special person, someone (not yourself) who could use the help … a real life hero! Let me know in the comments below….

PS: Before you people come and do me like Linda Ikeji, no be me get the pictures o. Na for on top internet I find am. Ngwanu bye!

PS2: And big shout outs to Monale, Emeka and Adaeze for top commenting support do shoot me an email at ofili@ofilispeaks.com for an appreciation gift.

twitterWritten By Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
Follow him on Twitter
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Read his crazy titled books on konga or okadabooks
Feed his children at…no wait he has no kids…but he has a BB that has sadly reached its limit.

Ofili

Author: Ofili

Words by Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
Follow him on Twitter
Stalk him on Instagram
Read his crazy titled books on konga or okadabooks
Feed his children at…no wait he has no kids…. 

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46 comments on “Sometimes I Feel Like Bruce Wayne But Without The Money

  1. Hiii Ofili,
    Happy Be-lated birthday!! I feel like I’ve know you for a while now lol ( been following your blog, etc) Anyways I’m not here to ask for the money, but I think it’s a nice thing you’ve decided to do. Only God can bless your heart the way you deserve. I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, and even how hard you work inspires me a lot. Please keep at it, never give hope, you’re almost there. And always remember that you’ve come so far, you have young people like myself who love, respect and look up to you in many ways. I hope this new year bring you all the joy & blessings you’ve ever desired.

  2. Toonna on said:

    Kinda reminds of an old Jack Dorsey video where he talks about working 8 hrs each day at both Twitter AND Square, that’s 16 hours each day. Smh, boys are not smiling. Clinical time auditing and discipline he says it takes. I applaud your hustle, been inspiring mine for a long time coming. Cheers on your birthday, more wisdom, fuel and power to you!

  3. Happy belated birthday! I really just want to applaud your hardwork and dedication. Not a lot of people in this day and age work half as hard to keep following their dreams the way you do. You are such an inspiration!

  4. And he tells us a week later… I always wonder how you manage to juggle all the things you do and still look good *insert wink here*
    Happy belated birthday, my wish for you is more grace to keep doing all the awesome things you’re doing and the ones waiting in the future.
    Adaeze latest post is 20/20My Profile

  5. Happy birthday in arrears Mr. Ofili. Please, do live long and prosper so I can continue to read your crazily hilarious posts.
    Hen, henn(sorry, but you said it yourself that the english language is overhyped, so allow me to type this the way I would sound if I was talking to you face to face), so, unlike the first commenter “T”, I am here to ask for the money(afterall, I am a hero myself, just come and ask me). So if you feel like making a sista very, very happy, abeg, dash me the money. It will help a lot in paying my tuition(that should count as heroic, yeah?) which I’ve been trying to put together without treading the route my fellow struggling sisters are treading. Thank ya!
    BTW, I wish I had all that energy to combine studies, making ends meet and still have time to write. So broda, more grease to your elbow.

  6. sharon on said:

    I remember when I worked 3 jobs in college to be able to take care of myself financially and even still help out family. I slept in the toilet stalls for 30minutes many times, almost every shift.
    I now work at a hospital with a better job that pays more, but I work extra so I can pay for my masters degree and i am in several committees which requires me to attend meetings. I’m also in a career advancement program that gives me a pay out bi-annually but have requirements to meet. So im still busy. I often take my breaks now, sleeping in my car as well. I almost can’t wait to go on break most days, so I can just get some shut eye.
    I am not sure how well I affect the community, but I do get a great sense of service and fulfillment when my patients thank me for caring for them or commend me for helping them better understand their illness. I find peace admist this chaos when I have been able to provide most needs for a debilitated (of any source) patient, even if they are unable to understand it or thank me.
    Life can be such a struggle or hassle, but sometimes its worth it, its worth putting a smile on another persons face. I’m not much of a reader, talk more a writer, but I’ve been trying to be better and catch up. I read books on my okadabooks app occasionally , but I often find your blog posts that come through my email very refreshing, funny and a much needed escape from my world of sickness and dying . So thank you , for staying up at night , to give me 5-10 minutes of a brighter look on life.

  7. Dear Ofili,

    I don’t know you but I feel like I know you. I feel like you are this amazing person that will be everything to everybody even if you don’t know it yourself [ and no, I’m not sucking up to thee 😉 ].
    I feel like everything you’ve been through/are going through has prepared and is preparing you for great things…your ups, your downs, your sideways…
    I feel like eventually, it will all fall into place; it will all make sense.
    You have an amazing gift and like SuddenlyJamie said on her blog today, “You are the only one that can tell your story.”

    There’s only one of you, so keep doing what you do…it’s that simple.
    Happy Belated Birthday and God bless.
    Obisco1
    Okan’ube latest post is Fat, Little Sh**!!!My Profile

  8. So that’s how you do it? lol. I will get you a tape recorder for your birthday and hope you can sync it to one of those computer program that goes from talk to text. Hopefully, that should help with all that paper cluttered around your home and bedside :). Happy birthday!

  9. Happy birthday. More power to your elbow and may you continue to grow in God’s favor and love. Blessings.

  10. Hmmm Ofili, what do I tell you now? First of all, happy belated birthday. You should have told us some days before or on that day.
    Secondly, your schedule is just out of the world. You’ve actually got me worried. Please please and please don’t break down. Plan things to enable you slow down by your 35th birthday.
    Now for the post birthday wishes…there’s so much to say. In fact, if this was another post, I would’ve said I’ll come back later but it is a birthday post no matter how late you made it *side eye* so I will not go the “I will return route”.

    I discovered your blog accidentally; don’t remember how exactly and in all my tears of stalking peoples blogs, this was the first I ever commented on. It’s real, funny, honest, bold, sometimes sad…in fact, it’s you and your hard work is palpable. It makes me think and to be honest, I’m quite lazy when it comes to thought provoking stuff. This blog has saved me from zoning out completely.

    You are one of the few heroes Nigeria has; people that can keep the wheels of young minds turning and that is really big deal. Few people can so please don’t stop.

    As you turn 33, I have many wishes for you. That favor will be your companion and things will work out for you better than you can even imagine, that you’ll achieve everything you set your mind to, that you’ll soar beyond heights you ever dreamt of (and I know you can dream) that you’ll know peace in abundance and that you’ll remain happy. Abundantly, felicitously happy. God bless your hustle Ofili, happy birthday.

    And finally, tell us please. We want to know; heck if your other blog readers don’t know, I’m interested in that information. Are you seeing someone? You no go like keep us posted?

  11. Okay Ofili, since everybody has decided to be modest and not request for the 100k, I will ask. I hope you won’t turn all Dragon’s Den on me with the “how do you intend to spend it” speech. You have been an inspiration o, that’s for one – from the first day I read your books.

    So, back to the “kishi”, I may not be a super hero, but I’m a Nigerian with concerns about where this big “canoe” is headed. My account number is… (Lemme consult my secretary first).

    Finally, happy 2015 birthday in advance, since you’re now in the habit of not telling us your birthday in time.

    Congrats bro. Keep inspiring us and making us laff and tink.
    Edima Inwang latest post is THE ART OF THE WOO Pt 2My Profile

  12. Happy Birthday Ofili. More grease to your elbow. As for the N100k. I nominate my elder brother. Yes sounds cheeky but he is in desperate need. His landlord is about to kick him out due to rent issues & he’s way too old to come back home. Doesn’t even have funds to go for a medical check-up for his health, as my family are going through severe restraints. He has been through a lot (to many & sad to share). The money could go a long way in helping him.

  13. Brief summary: turned 30 last month. For now had moved back home temporarily due to the house palava. (Bad idea since we’re relocating to Abuja November and he works in Lagos). Dad lost his job & pension since ’09 with little or no investments. My Bro kinda became the breadwinners of the house to the own detriment (Cos he’s a modest earner). Had to give up his music production career to get an average job to fend for us. Recently saved some money for the rent only for his trusted ally to betray him and went on the run till this day. Setback really left him depressed and confused. PS: He would kill me if I knew I was doing this. He’s still my Hero though.

  14. Awwwww, come on Ofili, I asked first!! Lol. So lemme tell you again. I am in year 3 in a Nigerian university and I am sorting out my tuition myself. Well, I get funds for that by doing ushering jobs but had to stop cos I had to leave my school to go to Badagry for my immersion program (in French Village. I’m studying french language) so, I’m about to resume back to my own university for my final year but with little hope of getting my tuition since I’m unable to work from Badagry. If you need to verify anything, you can send me an e-mail and I’d be happy to clearify any doubt you have. Thank you.

  15. Oluwatobiloba on said:

    Why didn’t you tell us about your birthday on the actual date? Uve denied me cake o….Happy birthday Mr. Ofili….nice work everytime.

  16. Ofili

    Sorry guys. For the N100,000 I really did not get compelling reasons or even much interest from people to nominate people. Which is kind of weird. Maybe I did a poor job of communicating this. But I will not be awarding this to anyone.

    I will send Y.tee and Kels N5000 each for their nominations. Please send me your account details and phone numbers. Thanks for supporting.

  17. HBD in arrears..well am sure you know all this plenty pressure is not exactly good for your health..so take am easy..Time to start thinking of a holiday I guess.All the best

  18. Happy Birthday in arrears Ofili! At least an advance notice would’ve been in order.
    Anyway, wish you many more impactful years.
    About the 100k, I think I know someonw who needs it bad!

    She is a Classmate of mine from University of Calabar. Sent me a Whatsapp message recently that she and her family are about being ejected from their apartment as they are late on rent.
    She is still weaning her baby and their current income cannot afford them to pay the rent or even get a smaller place.
    Fact is , they are flat broke.
    I couldn’t really offer any help as I wasn’t disposed or bouyant enough to do so.

    Her Name is Utuk Enobong and her Mobile number is +234 806 838 6148.

    It would be awesome if she and her family can get some help.
    I’ll send snapshots of the chat we had to your email as well.

  19. aondona on said:

    Happy birthday sir. About the money! I need am o! Naa,just playing. I’ll tell you what you do for me. I learn each time I come here. And yes,I laugh a lot too! You make me want to know how to write like that. Common letter sef dey hard me,talkless of article. Keep being you and know that some us of want to be like you when we grow up

    • Ofili

      THanks Uzo. I will focus on my health and have actually scaled back a lot. I no longer do crazy nights again.

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