A Very Short Post on Rape Prevention

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If owning a gun and knowing how to use it worked, the military would be the safest place for a woman. It’s not.

If women covering up their bodies worked, Afghanistan would have a lower rate of sexual assault than Polynesia. It doesn’t.

If not drinking alcohol worked, children would not be raped. They are.

If your advice to a woman to avoid rape is to be the most modestly dressed, soberest and first to go home, you may as well add “so the rapist will choose someone else”.

If your response to hearing a woman has been raped is “she didn’t have to go to that bar/nightclub/party” you are saying that you want bars, nightclubs and parties to have no women in them. Unless you want the women to show up, but wear kaftans and drink orange juice. Good luck selling either of those options to your friends.

A Short Post on Rape Prevention (via letsboldlygomotherfuckers)

Ofili

Author: Ofili

Words by Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
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17 comments on “A Very Short Post on Rape Prevention

  1. Christian chinedu on said:

    Sweet prose. Well written. But women are not completely helpless. As much as i am not a blame the victim always advocate, i am a firm believer in the concept of first finding a reason within why i am in a certain unlikely situation. What have i done or did not do. I take the blame first. Passing the buck can be counter productive. Rapists, like other perpetrators of evil in society can never be completely eliminated, but a lady can certainly reduce the possibility of putting herself in harms way by; dressing decently, speaking responsibly, choosing the right friends, avoiding certain places where she may become vulnerable e.t.c. I tell you it works. We must do our beat then ask for Gods guidance and assistance. The world is evil period!

    • One day I was on my way home from work after a late meeting. I was fresh out of youth service and didn’t have a car. There were no cabs that night, this was before call taxis came to Lagos, so friends dropped me off at Stadium and I waited for a bus. It was well past 10pm. I did not know there was a group of guys in the shadows smoking weed. I waited for a bus with a middle aged woman. Finally a bus came along but wasn’t going to my destination. The other woman entered, and a gruff voice from the darkness announces ” You better enter that bus now”.
      If that voice hadn’t been “kind” enough to warn me of danger, can you imagine what would have happened to me? Sometimes we are not even aware there is danger. While I was in Unilag I heard countless stories of girls raped while reading in class, on their way to class, their rooms, going to get a drink and all sorts.
      I assume you are male and have no idea what the terror of rape is. There is no stopping a rapist even if you are dressed in a burqa. You don’t get a chance to speak when you are being raped.

    • hmmm. 5year old Blessing thanks you for your comment. She’ll keep that in mind for the rest of her life. So do the Indian young girls that were raped and hung.

  2. Nwaka on said:

    Rape is a very horrible crime against women and no one should have to go through such horid and shameful experience. Very beautiful piece, it emphasises the fact that regardless of the way a lady dresses, where she goes or what she decides to drink in a bar or club should not be reason for her to be sexually violated. Rape is just one of the numerous forms of violence against women and ignorance is the fuel that allows the perpetrators of these heinous crimes think they can get away with it. Thank you for sharing Ofili. #StopVAW #ChildNotBride #BringBackOurGirls

  3. Bibii on said:

    Rapists are all kinds of sick and twisted individuals. Many victims have been blamed ,using some of the excuses that are in this write-up. All the blames make no sense at all; how do u blame someone who was raped in her house, or someone who was raped because she turned down sexual advances? Hmm… Thanks for sharing Ofili.

  4. Onyeche on said:

    Thanks for sharing Ofili and for reminding the world that there are men and there are rapists, molesters and perverts.

    You can imagine that a female teacher once blamed her female students for the sexual harassment they got from their male teachers? After all, they should have stayed at home so that the teacher will not see them abi?

    This victim-blaming game is just society’s lazy approach to dealing with the problem.

  5. Bayo on said:

    Nice piece. The victim, generally, is not to blame. But I do think some of the “prevention schemes” up there have their merits. That doesn’t mean that it still won’t happen, but perhaps just like putting up a tall fence, getting dogs, and having burglar alarms doesn’t mean you won’t get robbed, it certainly reduces the chances of opportunistic robberies. I believe that’s what people have in mind when they drop those statements.

    Now as to whether we will ever get rid of rape as a society, we won’t. That’s the unfortunate truth. We may eliminate disease, colonize planets, live to 150 etc, but crime that stems from sick minds may always be with us – rape, terrorism, murder. But that doesn’t mean we can’t and shouldn’t reduce the incidence, or make it very difficult for would be perps, and certainly the punishment should be severe… but utopia doesn’t exist. We will have to deal with that.

  6. olukemilawani on said:

    good grief! women have been raped by their fathers and uncles, houseboys and boyfriends. you still miss the point. it has nothing to do with being careful, but everything to do with the twisted mind of the perpertrator. you might as well say a woman should never let herself be anywhere near any man, including her male siblings and cousins, her father and uncles, her teacher, her husband, her friend

  7. For those who argue that a woman’s dressing may provoke sexual assault, I think it is time we realized that rape begins in the mind.It is not a crime committed by mistake.It is deliberate.Many of us work in environments where we have no control over the dressing of the various women we see.Yet we are not rapists.How come?

  8. Preventing rape begins in the mind.Mothers,do you train your sons to believe that women are inferior to them and must always bow to their will?I see women pull their daughters aside and talk to them about decorum,accepted behaviour around the opposite sex.Honestly,how many of us have ever told our boys that it is wrong to raise your hands against a woman?Or force yourself on her?
    Chima Nwankwo latest post is Female Footballers and their Coaches recognizedMy Profile

  9. Uncle Ofili,

    I like how this post tells us what is NOT the solution as we have always known, bit also does not actually offer any solution.

    Anyway, I have a small question. I have an important WAEC exam coming up. Can I also plagiarize my friend’s answer on my own exam sheet without consequence, as long as I write my friends name at the bottom of the answer?

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