My 10 Worst Life Mistakes: The Compilation (WARNING EXPLICIT CONTENT)

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greatestmistakesremixinstaSo after last weeks article … 5 Successful Bloggers Share Their Worst Mistakes People namely Jennifer, Oluwatosin Ade-Ajayi and Monale asked me to share my worst mistakes as well.

But like Ikenna Azuike I have so many mistakes I was not sure I would be able to contain them all on my blog. But what the heck … its my blog so I decided to share them all.

But be warned, my mistakes will not be the typical type of mistakes, I will not hold anything back. You asked for it….you have been warned … Explicit honesty ahead!

SCHOOL MISTAKES

#1 Mistakes I Made In Nursery School: Shitting in my shorts and denying it to impress a kindergarten babe.

What I learned: Own up to your own shit early or else you might end up smelling and looking like shit.

#2 Mistakes In Secondary School: Thinking friendship was a numbers game.

What I learned: I threw a 17th or 18th birthday party once at my parents house in Maryland, Lagos. I told everyone in Secondary School about it, even called them up which is a big achievement considering there were no cellphones then… But nobody showed up. Okay I take that back, some people showed up, it was my Parents, my Aunty and 2-3 friends. I am sure they were embarrassed for me.

But several years later, I realized something about that day and that was that friendship is not about the numbers.

We like to associate friendship with the quantity of friends we have … but its never about that. It’s about the few 2-3 people in your life that will show up to your party even when there is no food …

RELATIONSHIPS AND SEX MISTAKES

#3 Making key relationship decisions after sex.

What I learned: After a night of heavy love making she turned and asked “do you love” or “so what are we?” I can’t remember what exactly she said but my response was something like “yeah we are dating cause we love each other.”

What I learned is this … never make key relationship decisions after you have just had sex and don’t ask the questions either! There are just too many chemicals flowing in the body that might disrupt a persons ability to think logically. Remember you can always run …

#4 Assuming that no arguments was a good thing.

What I learned: Arguments are a critical part of a relationship. It’s like a new born baby that does not shit … that baby can DIE! And arguments are the same way because it helps people get shit off of their chest, if they keep it in there … the relationship will DIE!

Get shit off your chest!

#5 One size definitely does not fit all.

What I learned: The first time I used a condom it was quite embarrassing. The second time even more embarrassing … the third and fourth time … the same thing. It happened so often that I assumed I was allergic to rubber. At least that’s what I said to explain why I could not get it up. So I avoided sex as much as possible and when I did it, it was dangerously without condoms.

But then one day I overheard a friend mention something about Magnum condoms … he was like “Magnum condoms the large-sized condoms.”

Huh … here I was an educated man with a bachelor’s degree and I never realized that condoms came in different sizes! And if you used the wrong size it could cut your blood circulation which could make you emmmm not get it up … Crazy! But that day I learned that I needed to be comfortable talking about sex. You never know what you could learn.

LIFE MISTAKES

# 6 Mistakes In Life: Being Homophobic

What I Learned: Coming from Nigeria to the US in 2000 I was classic homophobic … after all homosexuals were evil … that was scripture.

But one day in the late 2010’s I was having a conversation with a fellow Engineer turned Entrepreneur at an Engineering Alumni conference. We talked business, chatted about NSBE (which was the conference we were at) and other items. We exchanged business cards and that was it.

Except that he called me 2-3 days later asking what type of music I liked. Now no guy has ever just called to ask what type of music I liked …. so I was like hmmmmm. And then he asked “do you want to go out to a JAZZ concert with me.”

“Did he just ask me out?” I thought to myself.

And that was when I knew. I was like emmm “I really can’t, I am busy” and some other BS excuse. And then there was an awkward silence and then click. I really felt bad … Nobody told me homosexuals could be engineers, could be entrepreneurs or could have feelings … I just thought about homosexuals as EVIL people.

That moment taught me this … don’t be too quick to judge and don’t be too quick to jump to conclusions …

WORK AND BUSINESS MISTAKES

#7 Speaking In Questions

What I learned: When I started working in Corporate America, I had this bad habit of speaking in questions. If I want to say “this idea really sucks monkey balls!” I would instead say the less confrontational “don’t you think this idea sucks monkey balls?” This meant I was neither here nor there.

I realized quite quickly that you just have to find the confidence to speak your mind without beating around the bush. I found that people that spoke their mind moved up faster in the company and were sought out for their opinions. Speak your mind!

# 8 Trying to manage 3 different websites at once.

What I learned: Don’t put all your eggs in one basket they said, but what they never said was that it would be damn hard managing all those baskets. And that’s where I found myself as I struggled to manage chaynge.org (charity website), ofilisketches.com (for sketches) and ofilispeaks.com (for articles and craziness).

I basically found myself constantly struggling to update and manage all three websites, and because my time was divided amongst all 3 sites, I was not able to give each site the right amount of attention. It was like being in an active relationship with 3 different people at the same time … IMPOSSIBLE. 

But then around 2006 or so, I decided to merge all 3 websites into one and the product is what you are reading now … ofilispeaks.com!

# 9 Placing a lower value on myself than others do.

What I learned: It was the summer of 2005. I had just started a new job and had decided it was time to let go of my 1992 beat up Toyota Camry. I posted the advert/sale on Craigslist and a student from the University of Houston approached me to buy the car. In my head the value of the car was $2500.

After test driving the car and checking it with his mechanic, the student called to tell me that he would like to buy the car for $3000. I was excited but then I actually told him that I felt the car should be sold for $2500. I am sure he was like what sort of crazy person is this … but long story short I lost $500 because I did not accept the higher value someone else had placed on my car.

I realized that I tended to make that mistake when it came to other business transactions “speaking fees” or “graphic design fees.” etc.  I have since learned how to value myself even higher than what others value me at. 

#10 Assuming that every organization is the same.

What I learned: I spoke at Covenant University in 2011 or 2012 can’t exactly remember and at the engagement I sold about 150 books for N1000.00 each. So when I was invited to speak at a public University in another state that I will not mention here … I was excited. There would be hundreds of students and I would just sell a 150 copies like I did at Covenant…

So I took a day off from work and drove down to the school which was outside Lagos and got to an auditorium filled with about 600 students. I had already started doing the Maths in my head … except that at the end of the presentation … I had sold exactly 0 copies of my books. In case you thought it was a typo … I meant “zero” as in “nada” as in “zilch.”

As I drove back to Lagos … I realized that not all organizations are the same.

What you did in one University will not necessarily work in another. I had to learn to vary my expectations to the organization that I was speaking at. Same thing with business, not all clients will be the same the strategy that worked on one will not necessarily work on the other. Be flexible. Remember #5 … one size NEVER fits all!

BONUS

#11 Just because everybody says YES does not mean everybody understands.

There have been many times work, business, life and especially school, when I am completely lost but everyone seems to understand what is going on. So I keep quiet only to realize after the fact that everybody was completely lost. So I learned to IGNORE THE CROWD and ask questions often … even when everyone … I mean everyone seems to be getting it …

PS: And do feel free to ask me any questions you might have below … I may not answer some but it never hurts to ask. Be awesome!

twitterWritten By Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
Follow him on Twitter
Stalk him on Instagram
Read his crazy titled books on konga or okadabooks
Feed his children at…no wait he has no kids…but he has a BB that has sadly reached its limit

Ofili

Author: Ofili

Words by Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
Follow him on Twitter
Stalk him on Instagram
Read his crazy titled books on konga or okadabooks
Feed his children at…no wait he has no kids…. 

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58 comments on “My 10 Worst Life Mistakes: The Compilation (WARNING EXPLICIT CONTENT)

  1. Nice one, Ofili. The Work and Business + the jaara part are my best. I can really identify with them.
    Moreover, the fact that each mistake has a moral to it is the most important thing I took out of this. Thanks for sharing as usual.

  2. Interesting and very inspirational piece. But eh… this thing about condom size, I don’t think I’ve ever seen them retailed in different sizes in Nigerian stores *scratches head*

  3. Aww Ofili, Many thanks for this post. This was a good read; very informative; sound lessons in each point.

    I love the comment on quality vs quantity of friendship as this has always been my rule. Also, the point about consolidating sites was useful for me, cos I have been pondering about certain projects and how to go about setting them in motion.

    Nice one!
    Monale latest post is What is the Vision?My Profile

    • Ofili

      You are welcome Monale!

      As you probably know my suggestions are not 100% applicable because each persons situation varies. For instance you might have a website that cannot be merged with the other.

      For me merging the three worked, but when it came to http://okadabooks.com I had to create a separate site. Anyway I am sure you catch my drift. Go on and change the world!

  4. Patricia on said:

    Nice one,err so by the magnumm size condoms what exactly are you trying to tell us huh???? :/ 😀 anywayss cool one! Always loved and admired your write ups tho I hardly contribute

  5. theisokogirl on said:

    I can relate to so many mistakes.One mistake i think i made was building walls in my early 20s .i never explored did any business learn any craft .i was just by myself

  6. Aderonke on said:

    Nice work. 🙂

    I can well relate with the eggs-in-the-basket story..Mama tells me that ALL the time.
    I also believe in placing a very high value on self and the stuff about friends. Quantity and quality are as different as night and day.

    Not everyone is open to telling his/her mistakes and helping people relate with it. Weldone, Mr Ofili.

  7. Ofili Ofili thanks for this…I am preparing for my medical licensing exams which will be in few days, my brain is steaming, just came home and thought I should relax(by reading your articles as usual).
    I may need that magnum after d exams, don’t hesitate to share its whereabout..lol **just kiddin**
    ciao

  8. Beautiful wisdom dispensed in your usual down to earth style. I’ve learnt plenty today but number 3 struck me in many places. We shouldn’t make critical decisions in the throes of emotional situations; be it post coital, after someone has saved your life or in the heat of anger. You inspired me with this post, thanks Okechukwu Ofili

  9. Whenever am reading through ofili’s posts, I usually feel the calmness that follows. It doesn’t just show he’s a gentle dude, it also shows how much value he places on what his readers will read and digest. You re SIMPLY a good writer. Now about the post: Each of your mistakes had a lesson. Yes, and all these lessons only contributed to making you a better person. When you sold your car 500 less, its not that you dint price your car (yourself) higher, its only that you were too sincere to even understand it was an opportunity to get extra cash. In life, we make certain mistakes that end up shaping our lives becos we can’t help who we are. Frankly, I sent my friend a link to this post after I read it, she replied me sayin. “He writes like your favorite author, Francine Rivers”. Ofili, you don’t really know how many people your posts inspired. If you do, you will stop drawing your big head like that… Lol

    • Out of everything in this article, this typographical error was all you learnt? My gosh! Your Covenant or Convenant University education should be worth more than that!

      I think Ofili should add – “Not every person will appreciate a good thing or your good work” as a life lesson #12.

      • Amenze,

        I think we should cut Oluwunmi a little slack. Maybe it was a typographical error but it was an error nonetheless. Okay, maybe she should have prefaced her comment differently before pointing out the error but little errors grow into big errors.
        It’s like spelling Nigeria as ‘Nigera’ or some such thing; we would roast the ‘culprit’ alive.
        I guess what I’m trying to say is that we shouldn’t dismiss corrections, not matter how little or seemingly inconsequential simply because they don’t start off with a praise neither should we ‘shoot the messenger’.

        My own two pennies 🙂
        Okan’ube latest post is In My Head, It Was Simpler…My Profile

    • @Oluwunmi- Out of everything in this article, this typographical error was all you learnt? My gosh! Your Covenant or Convenant University education should be worth more than that!

      I think Ofili should add – “Not every person will appreciate a good thing or your good work” as a life lesson #12.

  10. Adelowo Oreoluwa on said:

    You just succeeded in making younger generations learn from your Mistakes, I Love Originality plus been sincere, and that’s what this Blog is about.

    Well done!

    I can relate well with with #7 and #9.

  11. Don’t tell me you have an oversized D Ofili. I appreciate your honesty in extending your mistake I too have learned from yours.

    A lot of times, we act like we don’t make mistakes, know everything and have our lives panning our perfectly. But the reality is not always so.

    Well done Ofili. You never cease to inspire.

    Cheers!

  12. Adu Folasade on said:

    This write-up is inspiring. You write well. I love #7 lesson. Thank you for been a solution provider. You are a blessing

  13. Oluwatobiloba on said:

    I enjoyed reading about your mistakes. This is my first time on your blog but I’m hooked. Hope u don’t mind having a stalker :p

  14. Natalie Brooks on said:

    The moral of the story: Wow! Toyota Camry’s hold value for a long time.

    Also, maybe it’s a male/female thing. If I met a female and we got along well, then she asked me if I wanted to check out some event, it wouldn’t even cross my mind that it was a date… just hanging out.

  15. Its the ease with which ofili posts that keeps me coming back here. There’s no struggle, you just enjoy. Well done. Yes Francine Rivers is extraordinary. Peretti and Dekker too. I do have a lil question about okadabooks. Can I get an email address?

  16. An enlightening read! Well done Ofili for sharing this- # 8 and # 9 really speaks to me. I am quite outspoken on what I want but when it comes to putting a price on my worth, I fall short.
    On the other hand, I am a benefactor of lesson # 7 cos I have seen it work in my corporate life. In my current job, everyone knows I am not scared to air my views in clear terms on a matter. So, people tend to test any idea with me before scaling up and that has kept me in the game of things such that within 2 years since I joined, I have risen through two levels to Senior Management! Keep up the good work.

    P.S. I would like to add lesson # 13 – Not everyone will value a good thing”. You have evidence right here from one of the commentaries.

  17. Ok ok ok we have heard……magnum ko magnum ni……..na only you carry six people own. So those of us that you snatched our own from God and ran away on creation day should now go and hug transformer,huh? Just messing with you. But congrats on your size though. +Winks+

  18. Charles Chime on said:

    Nice one bro.. And to think you’ve got the time to put all that together so perfectly and still show up at work each day even smarter… (teach me the trick oooo). Most people might not know you are a full time practicing Engineer handling word class projects. I hail you bros! Idi egwu!!

  19. This is cool. Simple, tact, straight. Just felt you elaborated too much on sexuality and the likes. And you did the right thing take $500 less, never believe your own hype they say. So value yourself lower.

    Stay True!

  20. priska on said:

    Hi. My friend gave me your book “How Intelligence Kills ” yesterday. It connected me to your blog as well as your other social media outlets. I like every thing I have seen so far. I am really inspired. I am already a fan. Thanks.

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