Who The Heck Kidnapped Mr.Biggs And Stole His Jelly

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Growing up in Nigeria in the early 90’s one of my favorite hang out spots was Mr.Biggs…for us kids Mr.Biggs was like a page out of Charlie and the Chocolate factory, except that in place of the chocolate we got lots of flour, sugar, jelly and meat all wrapped up in delicious packages. Of all the items sold at Mr.Biggs the one item that should have been confisticated for crimes against humanity for extreme sinful packaging was the Mr.Biggs donut…the donut dough was so soft and sumptuous, it could make you cry. To make matters worse, its outer layer was sprinkled with light crystals of crack cocaine sugar granules. It was easy to see why and how a kid could get addicted to this. But the best part of the Mr. Biggs donut was its inside (never judge a donut by its cover), its inside was filled with red jelly that would literarily ooze out anytime you took a bite…

Fast forward several years later and I am asking myself “Who the heck kidnapped Mr.Biggs and stole his Jelly?” The year was 2011 and the month was January, the Nigeria economy was recovering from the stock/real-estate crash that had ravaged the landscape. I had just relocated back to Nigeria and had ordered my child hood favorite Mr.Biggs donut…I took a huge bite…as the “I don’t think you ready for this jelly” lyrics from Destiny Child’s bootylicious rang in my head. But instead of seeing the usual red jelly ooze out…all I saw was oxygen. I kept biting till I got to the center where I finally struck jelly or what seemed to be like traces of jelly splattered around dough’s crust. And then it hit me…the amount of jelly in a Mr.Biggs donut is directly proportional to the strength of the economy!

Ok ok I need more research to prove that…but this I what I know, a lot of entrepreneurs tend to get stuck in spreadsheets and financial readings. So stuck in it that they fail to see the obvious and simple signs around them and are thus too slow to react to external changes in their business. What they fail to realize is that sometimes they don’t need complex equations or formulas to decipher the state of an economy or an industry. The interpretation can be made from items as simple and trivial as the amount of jelly in a donut. Q.E.D.

WARNING: No donuts were harmed in the making of this blog post.

Ofili is an award winning ninja motivational speaker, author, success coach and mind reader entrepreneur who blogs about life, success and entrepreneurial excellence. Follow him on BB pin:3300ED8F, twitter , facebook or subscribe to his blog for more success TIPS!” His latest book is titled HOW LAZINESS SAVED MY LIFE, to find out how it saved his life click ofilispeaks.com/read-book


Wishing You Extreme Success,

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Author: Ofili

Words by Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
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23 comments on “Who The Heck Kidnapped Mr.Biggs And Stole His Jelly

  1. As a kid I actually had to squeeze out some of the jelly and shake off some sugar before eating the d.o.u.g.h.n.u.t (I dunno why you use the yankified spelling d.o.n.u.t). It was just a bit too much then. But the dough was nice… that was the focus. I would fill my mouth with it and then chase it with Fanta or Sprite. Goodness.

    Now, my issue with the average Mr. Biggs doughnut is that its too oily. Compress it and you’ll get maybe half a cup of oil out of it. What kind of oil is it anyway?

    Can’t eat all this stuff now. Need to watch the belly. Sigh. I miss those days when naija babes found a man’s pot belly sexy.

  2. kike on said:

    ..And someone forgot to add that it’s most time stale.
    Let me not even talk about the poor customer service! One time I went to their Kudirat Abiola Rd Ikeja branch,it just didn’t feel right. From the guy at the door who acted like the job was forced on him to the girl at the counter ( did I mention she was the only one at the counter).
    I want the old Mr. Biggs back also…
    I guess their problem started with franchising.

  3. queenie on said:

    Totally agree with Ofili. The state of our nation’s economy is directly proportional to the amount of jelly available in Mr.Biggs’ donut today or beef in their meatpies, vis-a-vis the amount of jelly or beef, first ten, then five years ago.
    Franchising or not, most processes in a business are usually “templated” for consistency. And that’s the same with the donut. It is a pea-sized amount today in all Mr.Biggs’ outlets.

  4. This is so true! Mr Biggs donut used to be ‘the truth’!! Nd yea like someone said I was always made to squeeze some Jelly out cos it was too much..

  5. Rennie on said:

    I quite agree that the franchise thingy has done more harm than good to our dear Mr. Biggs but funny enough I still enjoy their meat pie to those from other eateries.

  6. Imade on said:

    Quite impressive write up, The doughnut changes from quality of Jelly which was much more better then has lost his quality, that is the present economic look. T

  7. crystal on said:

    I guess most of you guys have pleasant recent Mr. Biggs donut experiences compared to mine. These days, 3 out of 4 times there’s no jelly in the donuts I buy. I mean zero, nada!!! I have complained so many times. I even advised that they sell 2 types of donuts & price the “jellyful” ones slightly higher, say N120 (yeah, I love it that much).

    Personally, I wouldn’t mind the oil so much if the jelly comes back. Sadly, our opinions don’t matter to them.

    Thank God the chicken pie is back. Sometime ago, the chicken was stolen & replaced with sickening potatoes!!!

  8. Aibee on said:

    Yes I agree with your hypothesis. In fact it is not a (an?) hypothesis sef, neither is it a theory. It is a law. Finish.
    My mum once told me she could tell when inflation came to Nigeria. When the average Mrs Joe could no longer buy a 50/100 cube pack of maggi and had to resort to buying it 3 for N10 from d aboki gateman.
    I guess we’ll see more jelly in Mr Biggs’ doughnuts ‘when the economy improves ‘ (another of my Mum’s sayings!)

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