The Amazingly Incredibly Big Big #Nigeria Hand Luggage Crisis
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Anyway I was scheduled to come back to Nigeria the following week and I needed to get a new pair of black shoes…I knew I needed them because the current pair were becoming amoebic aka shapeless.
So I searched high and wide…mostly high (no pun intended), but I could not find a pair of black shoes. Actually I take that back…I could not find a pair of black shoes I liked. I wanted loafers with wide feet, the one you rocked with kaftan and could rock sock-less.
But all I saw in Amsterdam were this long laced boot looking type shoes. I must have gone to over 15
coffee shops shoe shops but nothing, not a single black pair of loafers I could buy. All I saw were tons of bicycles (another article for another day) nothing else. I eventually gave up …
Fast forward to my departure trip, the Morocco to Nigeria flight…you know that flight!
That flight that has more hand luggage than a hand luggage manufacturing factory! That flight where people are carrying around full suitcases in the airplane and claiming that it is hand luggage! That flight were people defy the laws of physics by squeezing their bags into the congested overhead compartments! You know that flight?
Well I was on that flight, but I was lucky to find space for my hand luggage, but others were not so fortunate. The Royal Air Morocco Hostess had already started handing out tags for the leftover hand luggage to be marshaled off the plane … when this Nigerian guy came in with a shopping cart!
Actually it was not a shopping cart, but from the way his bags were stacked, one could pardon my error because he had one huge gigantic bag on his back…while pulling another carry-on luggage which had two other “hand-luggage” attached to it! If Decepticons could transform into hand luggage they would have created this shit. How he got all that through security is jaw dropping … hence my Decepticon transforming theory … but I digress!
He began pushing and re-arranging other people’s luggage in the overhead compartment.
They say matter is anything that has weight and occupies space … well that did not “matter” today because this dude was compressing other people’s matter like it had no weight and did not occupy space. He was compressing and crushing people’s belongings to fit his Decepticon hand luggage in the overhead.
That’s when the trouble started o … nothing pisses off a Nigerian faster then another man touching his hand luggage, but when you crush his hand luggage he can kill you! People started shouting and insulting the man … see yabbing sha. I was just there in the exit row, ready to jump out in case the insults escalated to physical abuse. But
to my disappointment no fight happened … instead what I heard was a profound statement, it was actually a yab, but it was a profound yab. A guy across the aisle said and I quote…
“Bros all this one that you are packing we have already have this things in Nigeria, just check online and you will find it, they will even deliver it to your door.”
And that’s when I remembered my hunt for that black shoe…you remember, that original story I was telling you about in Holland before I diverted to Morocco? Well I ended up finding that black shoe, actually I found plenty black shoes. And it was all online! I found them browsing Nigerian websites while in Holland.
You see Nigeria, thanks to technical brilliance and foresight of a few is gradually killing the buy-it-in-the-abroad addiction Nigerians have.
Soon international flights to Lagos and Abuja will not have to see any more hand luggage wars, Air hostesses will no longer look in dismay as Nigerians fight to convince them that a 50 kg bag is really 33 kg. Soon and very soon that allure to travel in the abroad because they supposedly have better quality products will diminish … it’s already happening albeit at a very slow pace…but its happening!
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