Lucky Number Seven

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Since we created okadabooks.com…my favorite past time is trolling through Nigerian blog sites to source for amazing writers with amazing writings. And this weekend I stumbled upon Femi Famutimi of http;//ideauniverse.com. This is the excerpt that made me fall in love (#noHomo) with his writing…and reinforeced my belief that Nigerians can write!

So, here I was, sitting in a café, waiting for some smoking hot UNILAG chic to show up. I had spent the last three days talking to random chicks, fighting the urge to bolt or do anything crazy and I was convinced I had it all under control.

Suddenly, there was a slight tremor as the door opened and someone walked in. I was having a cappuccino and I swear it, my little cup was shaking on the table. I looked up at the source of it all, and saw the largest girl that ever lived. You know, the one they make jokes about that they had to take her class picture from a helicopter so that her whole body would get into the picture. The ones that if they fell on you, the squash you like a pancake and they’d have to peel you off her and stuff. Yeah, she was that large.

She had like 3 chins and a bust that would crush a tractor rather easily. I would swear she was carrying another being in her stomach, and no, not a fetus, it had to be a fully grown human. With every step she took, the café trembled a little. She made her way to my table… wait! My table??? I was turning white with fear, all my composure was gone. I closed my eyes and prayed silently ‘let her just want to borrow a cup of sugar’ she stopped in front of me and said

“Hey, you wanted a Unilag chic?” my jaw dropped. What! Was this her? What the fuck are the big boys and aristos into nowadays??? I thought the senators and the big boys went for slim, portable chics, not monsters!

“Err…have a seat.” I said. She smiled; apparently she was used to this reaction….see what happened next at http://bit.ly/okadabook

Ofili

Author: Ofili

Words by Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
Follow him on Twitter
Stalk him on Instagram
Read his crazy titled books on konga or okadabooks
Feed his children at…no wait he has no kids…. 

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6 comments on “Lucky Number Seven

  1. Toonna on said:

    I quickly ran to the app to download the book, good stuff so far, 1:27am here and I haven’t put it down! You guys have really done a great service with Okadabook! Kudos!

  2. Anonymous on said:

    Okadabook is pretty nice but when books are downloaded in epub format to devices i wonder if big writers would ever come on board….so as i dey use okadabooks now, ofili has added my email to his mailing list to spam me abi???

  3. I feel so bad that I don’t use an android device and can’t enjoy the app with my Blackberry (sulks at my Blacbkerry). Anyways, great job with okadabooks! Hope to have my work on there someday soon.

  4. Reallaw on said:

    Just read his book, thanks to Okada books app(Kindle ain’t got nothing on them, so so proud). Googled him & came across ur post. Pls tell him to shop around “Lucky Number 7” as a screenplay. It would make an amazing film. He should not limit himself to Nollywood, Global Y’all. Once again for d book, Standing Ovation!

  5. oguns damilola on said:

    i feel it would be unappreciative if i dont speak about how insightful i’ve found okada books..from “how laziness saved my life, how intelligence kills, the americanah, double for trouble, my name is a-zed and of course the crazy but amazing “lucky number 7″….okada has been a creativity extraordinaire

  6. Read it sometime last month and I liked the story- an easy read and nicely creative.
    I would just like to say that I think some of the books could do with a bit of editing before being put up. It takes away from the reading experience when one keeps running into syntax and spelling errors. I honestly believe in quality over quantity.
    Just saying.

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