How To Stalk People Without Freaking Them Out…Too Much

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You send an email, but you get no response. You make a phone call but still you get no response. So you get up and drive to his office. But he is still not there. At least that’s what the Secretary says, but you follow him on facebook, twitter, instagram, pinterest and even his abandoned hi5 account. So you know obviously that his secretary must be bull-shitting lying, because his last update said “still at the office…work sucks.”

So you ignore the secretary and wait it out at the reception. Fortunately your stalking is efforts are not in vain, as your target emerges from his office…but he is surrounded by a sea of tall people. Fortunately, you know his stance on the Mechanical Fusion of Nano-technology with Garri and you have read his research paper The Future of Nano-Garri  more than a million times. So you yell NANOTECHNOLOGY GARRI IS THE FUTURE! Everyone, freezes and stares at you…momentarily opening up the pathway to your target, you run up to him before anyone can say “Garri” and extend your hand… simultaneously delivering your elevator speech…quick and straight to the point.

Although there is no elevator in sight, you know that your speech has worked. You end up talking about Nano-garri for the next few minutes and he even invites you over to drink garri at his mansion in garri banana island.

You have just executed the art of stalking a person without freaking them out…too much…

The same art practiced by all the greats from Pat Utomi to Robert Kiyosaki…greats that have met even greater people because of persistent, well planned, well researched and well executed and sometimes controversial stalking.

Have you stalked someone today?

You should also read I Stalked Steve Jobs (And How To Get A Meeting With ANY VIP)

WARNING: This advice is not to be used for stalking girls…as stalking girls will get you arrested or beat up by their boyfriends or police.

Ofili is an award winning stalker motivational speaker, author, success coach and spy entrepreneur who blogs about life, success and entrepreneurial excellence. Follow him on twitter , facebook or subscribe to his blog for more success TIPS!” To bring Ofili to your school or organization as a speaker simply go here.

He has written two books, How Laziness Saved My Life and the best-selling How Stupidity Saved My Life, to find out how they both saved his life visit his latest book is titled How Intelligence Kills Us and will be coming out in the first quarter of 2013 (he hopes).

Wishing You Extreme Success,


Author: Ofili

Words by Okechukwu Ofili of
Follow him on Twitter
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Read his crazy titled books on konga or okadabooks
Feed his children at…no wait he has no kids…. 



26 comments on “How To Stalk People Without Freaking Them Out…Too Much

  1. Emeka Obianyor on said:

    I watched Pat Utomi’s TED talk where he describes how, as a Student representative, he uses the technique you just described to get an audience with the defence minister of Nigeria… great stuff!!

  2. I literally Laughed Out Loud, so hard I almost missed the message. Good stuff as always.
    At least now I know all my Private Eye research on him was not in vain… 😉
    P.S. If you see me on the news for stalking, can you please tell the police it was Ofili made do it?
    Toni Osai latest post is Ladies, what do men want?My Profile

  3. Praisescribe on said:

    @ Emeka: i looked up Pat Utomi’s speech at TED Talks and i cant find it anywhere. Can you provide me with a link to that particular speech? Thanks.

    @ Ofili: Amaze-balls (as my colleagues would say) hit the nail right on the head, as usual. I love the quote from the Girls From Paris. As lawyer, with our hands cut off from advertising we are having to innovate new ways of increasing and improving our client portfolio and one of the things we have decided, is to literally Stalk our Potential Clients. Thanks for today’s post.

    Oh and the link to Pat Utomi doesn’t lead anywhere.

  4. @Ofili, Thanks for making me laugh…but the message was real and well delivered. Have you had a stalker before? Please share that experience. lol.

    @Praisescribe, we need to talk. I need to hear about the innovative ways you are using to increase your client base.

  5. Un1nhibit3d on said:

    Just picked your laziness book, 7 months too late. Couldn’t put it down (except to catch my sleep).Totally loved it. Wondered why I didn’t go out to get the stupidity one when I came across it last year. That’s the next book I’m getting. Well done.

  6. kara2dance on said:

    Thank you so much. Truth is some of us have unknowingly been doing this already not realizing we were ‘stalking’ them. But glad to know i ain’t the only stalker in town!

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