Engineering Student Predicts TB Joshua Church Building Collapse In 2012
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Breaking Satirical News
LAGOS, NIGERIA – Engineering Student Efe Adelugba accurately predicts the September 12th Synagogue Church Building crash by utilizing scientific, mathematical, practical and logical building construction principles.
It all came to light when copies of Efe’s 2012 Civil Engineering thesis titled “Things Fall Apart: A Detailed Look At Why Buildings Collapse” was leaked to the press yesterday night. Although the SCOAN building was not named explicitly in the thesis, experts are still claiming that it is an accurate prediction of the September 12th event as several key factors align…
In the thesis, it is
prophesized said that a foundation when loaded beyond its ultimate strength will ultimately crack under pressure causing the building to collapse. And this was exactly the case with the SCOAN building. As it collapsed when construction work was going on to raise the building to a five storey building … even though the foundation was designed for only 2-storeys!
prophesized stated that situations were such building collapse occurs could lead to deaths of dozens of people and injuries to hundreds. Again this was in line with the actual building crash collapse data where the National Emergency Management Agency (NEMA) stated that the death toll from the collapse is now at 40 with over 120 people injured. As more and more experts are reading Efe’s thesis they are coming to realize that it could be (when edited slightly) used to predict several other building collapses in Lagos between 2012 and 2014 and those that have not even happened!
When our ofilispeaks.com correspondents reached Efe Adelugba … he was at his parents home where he has been for the past 2 years looking for a job. But with the viral popularity of his thesis, he is now considering dropping the search for an Engineering job and becoming a Church Entrepreneur where he will be paid millions of
Naira dollars to prophesize disasters across Nigeria. When asked why he wanted to switch, Efe replied
“If T.B.Joshua can predict the obvious and get paid, why can’t I!”
Sounds logical. We even asked Efe to share other predictions with us and and he told us this …
“In December there will be many accidents on the roads of Nigeria, more than other months in the year. This is obviously because more people on holidays will be travelling on the roads and because most of our roads are bad, but as a prophet I will just blame that on the Devil.”
With the money prophets are making in Nigeria, Efe’s decision to switch is financially promising and he is being encouraged by his Parents who believe that if Efe can work on his healing skills he could be on to something. Before we left, Efe gave us another
prophetic piece of advise:
“If the T.B Joshua read my thesis, he would have known that his church needed to seek approval from the Lagos state government to get sound feedback. Such action would have likely averted this disaster.”
When we asked the T.B.Joshua camp about Efe’s final statement on approval, we were told that T.B.Joshua did not need the state governments approval, because he already had the anionted approval of God. This makes sense, after all if Jesus says yes, nobody can say no.Absolutely NOBODY and this includes the Lagos state government, engineering students and Sir Isaac Newton … I mean who are they to challenge God with engineering principles.
After numerous phone calls, we were finally able to catch up with T.B. Joshua himself. And he told us that God had actually revealed to him in a dream that the building would collapse after a black aeroplane flies over it 4 times. However, he did not want to publicize the prophecy because the black Aeroplane did not crash. Per T.B. Joshua “God has ordained me to predict plane crashes and not building collapses.”
All attempts to reach “God” to verify T.B Joshua’s claim proved futile … because sadly none of the ofilispeaks.com staff are anointed enough to communicate with God. So we are just left with T.B. Joshua claims and the thesis of a Civil Engineering Student.
Written and Prophesized By Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
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