My Reactions To Dear @LindaIkeji and Aunty @BellaNaija My Husband Is …

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Dear Linda Ikeji and Aunty Bella,

My name is Nkechi and I really need your advice.

Please be honest with me. My husband is an amazing man, he really loves me. But he has one little problem. It’s really a little problem to be honest … it’s so small that if you blink you might miss it.

You see my husband occasionally likes to touch my face with his fists. And sometimes, actually most times it results in bruises all over and it hurts. But its really nothing crazy. He still loves me.

And lest I forget, sometimes, he gets really emotionally abusive and screams at me. Calling me names in front of our children. One time we were arguing and he accidentally pushed me down the stairs.

He also stays at home all day and refuses to find a job. So I have to provide for the family, clean the house and take care of the children all by myself.

My friends say I should leave him, my neighbors say I should leave him, and even my children say I should leave him, and sometimes a voice deep deep down inside of me says I should leave him too. So my question is this …

Should I leave him?

Me: ???


Commenter 1: You really should leave …

Me: Thank You!


Commenter 1: … And go to church so we can pray for you. Then go back to your husband because the bible says …

Me: Son of a beech!


Commenter 2: Ignore Commenter 1, you need to run away from him, he might hurt you.

Me: Brilliant Advice

Nkechi: But but I really really love him …

Me: Are you out of your MIND!


Me: I am done with this ish …

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twitterWritten by Okechukwu Ofili of
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Author: Ofili

Words by Okechukwu Ofili of
Follow him on Twitter
Stalk him on Instagram
Read his crazy titled books on konga or okadabooks
Feed his children at…no wait he has no kids…. 

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10 comments on “My Reactions To Dear @LindaIkeji and Aunty @BellaNaija My Husband Is …

  1. I am always blinded with rage when I see posts like that. Yes, your husband/boyfriend/whatever is SOOOOOOO wonderful, but he manages to hit you repeatedly. Well, isn’t he just the kindest man to have ever walked the Earth. When this Mr. Wonderful intro is combined with the “I-am-sure-someone-is-spiritually-attacking-us-and-trying-to-break-up-our-exemplary-marriage” chant, I go bonkers.

    I don’t know if posts like that start off that way to somehow convince readers that the man is redeemable or to make readers help the poster justify not leaving the relationship.

    I have seen so much of this insanity that my head hurts just thinking about it. I need to sleep.
    Kambili Chimalu latest post is Extortion: Nigeria’s Favourite PastimeMy Profile

  2. Stay biko, so that you can be carried out since you don’t want to walk out.

    I have known severely abused women (one of them my then neighbour, the beatings started on their one month anniversary) and read books and articles written by them and have come to realise they have this gripping, crippling inertia about leaving the marriage. They know how bad it is but they subconsciously, tenaciously hold on to the hope that he will change and they will wake up from the hellish nightmare that their lives have become
    Adaeze latest post is Retroviral Chronicles- The Drunk and the Confused.My Profile

  3. What gets me isn’t the stories. It’s the comments. 1000s of comments and nothing of worth is said. Sad to think these are reflective of majority of nigerians.

    And this is how they react: Sacarsm, religious, Sacarsm, indecisive, Sacarsm, more religious, more sarcasm and an advert.

  4. Igbegocho on said:

    She knows what to do, thing is, she is not ready to do it. Unfortunately she might never be ready. You can drag her out, but I’m certain she’ll return to him as soon as she sees an opportunity. No matter how hard we try to understand, unless we are put in that situation we can never truly understand her situation. It is a thing of the mind. Hers is obviously messed up right now.

  5. The 2nd comment cracked me up. “Go to church and pray then go back to your husband”. Okay now. I hope those same people will be there when the man eventually beats her to death.

    I don’t know how we became a society that encourages women (people) to stay/live in terrible situations, or with bad behaviors. We need to raise our daughters to be strong, independent women so they don’t have to live with this nonsense.

    Great post, Ofili.
    Monale A. (The Versatile Nigerian) latest post is 5 Reasons Why You Should always Do Great WorkMy Profile

  6. FortuneTall on said:

    These kind of issues make me confused. What are feminists preaching then, I dare ask. Isn’t it obvious that woman wants to die? To me she feels absolutely worthless without the said man. Feminists!! Stop preaching equality and start preaching self worth.

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