Achalugo Speaks: Why I Don’t Have A House-help by @achalugo
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I stumbled upon this brilliant article by Achalugo Tomato-Jos Chioma Ezekobe (the name loooong sha) and it really spoke to me because it is an article that I have been wanting to write but I think she stole the words right out of my head. But this is Nigeria so I cannot sue her, so I will just promote her work …. do check out the article and her site for other awesome articles!
Why I Don’t Have A House-help
I hate stereotypes, strongly, maybe because I am a victim myself. There is a sport I cannot play, the sport of generalizing, of using a one-size-fits-all approach to matters.
I have been seriously referred to as Mammy-water, kudos to my MTN complexion, also all light-skinned females bleach, all pretty females are harlots, add your own. It hurts, stop eeet!
So you must have heard, all house-helps are wicked, possessed, lazy, dirty, will snatch your husband, *insert yours here*.
Now, lets kill this stereotype – the ‘I have a house-help stereotype’, I don’t, you shouldn’t. Let us replace it with the ‘I have a domestic staff’ one. See? Easy, now we both do not have house-helps anymore.
I happen to make up my mind on the kind of person you are, based on the way you treat a domestic staff and (shoot me) nomenclature is a big deal to me. So here is one top reason you should not have a house-help;
1. Because the young girl living with you is a human being and has a name, and it is not ‘house-help’. If any amebo insists on knowing the role anyone plays in your house, kindly refer to her as your domestic staff. Sounds nicer.
And here are a bit of popular misbehavior some madams should repent of; (using a hypothetical relationship between a mother of the house and a young domestic staff, herein after referred to as DS)
2. Your DS is not your child’s mother. Do not hand over a 100% of child responsibility to her and be answering mommy for mouth.
3. Your DS is not your husband’s wife. Do not leave her to run all the wifely errands then wake up tomorrow and be looking for who slept with your husband. When last did you make your man a meal? You really cannot be that busy darling.
3. Your DS is not a robot. ‘Ngozi! Wash the plates’ ‘Ngozi! Wash those clothes’ ‘Ngozi! Run to the market’ all under two minutes. Ngozi na person o!
4. Your DS is not a punching bag. Please stop beating other people’s children unnecessarily. Half of the people guilty would bring down the roof of a school if their child were to be tapped small with toy cane.
5. Your DS don’t have to look like a Somalian refugee, go shopping for her, it wont kill you! You look like crap when your kids come out looking nice and their DS looks like spoiled Egusi.
6. Your DS needs to be constantly learning, whether formal or informal, and if they are below 16, please make sure that they are getting educated.
7. Your DS won’t die from eating freshly served food, quit the leftover food behavior they are not dogs. Never starve her as punishment.
8. Your DS deserves some dignity, do not put her down in front of your guests or children. Do not allow anyone talk rudely to her. Do not allow anyone make her run errands in their own houses.
9. Your DS is not allergic to ice-creams, cakes and the likes you get for your kids too. Go ahead, buy for her. When you visit places, insist on refreshment for her if anyone wants to sideline her.
10. Do not talk about her. Chances are that people want to tell you how and how to search for signs of witchcraft, husband snatching, rudeness, etc. Feed on positivity.
I believe in an equal opportunity world, I believe that all things being equal, people who are treated well respond with equal amounts of goodness.
Do not tell me ‘Achalugo, you can’t understand, you have not seen the bad ones’ Oh baby, I have. I have seen the bad ones, but most importantly, I declare most solemnly today, that I have seen the good ones being ill-treated.
Please let’s end
house-help domestic staff violence today.
Achalugo Tomato-Jos Chioma Ezekobe is a ninja writer at achalugowrites.com
She is the author of the okadabooks bestseller “Don’t Write on Me: A Collection of 5 Short Stories” that can be read at okadabooks.com
For more of her MTN yellow writing you can follow her on Twitter
If twitter is too crazy for you then you can join her on Facebook
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