5 Reasons Why I Hate My Very Special* Birthday

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Birthdays! That very special occasion that happens once every year to practically everybody in the world!

It’s a time when people get to wish you happy birthday or just write it on your wall. We all look forward to our birthdays.

Except me! Or any one of the 590 million (number completely made up) people who are born on special days! Special* days like Christmas Jesus Birthday, Valentine’s Day or if you are like me … Nigeria’s Independence day!

But before you judge me and write me off as a sadistic hater of all things good. Read the “5 Reasons Why I Hate My Very Special* Birthday”

#1 Robbed Childhood

As a child I never got to celebrate my birthday in either nursery or primary school. And do you know why?!

Because my birthday fell on a public holiday. So that meant that even if I showed up to school with a cake nobody would show up.

Instead I would be left to celebrate my birthday with my family … don’t get me wrong, I love my family. But I still would have loved to have one day … just one day to celebrate my birthday in school, and have my teachers and classmates hug me and make me feel special. But I was robbed instead …


#2 Abused Childhood

So yes … while in Nursery and Primary school, I was never able to celebrate my birthday in school because nobody showed up. Sadly and very sadly the reverse was the case in Secondary school..boarding house to be precise!

As is tradition in Secondary school, you got hugged flogged on your birthday.

For those lucky enough to have their birthday fall on school days … you could mitigate your flogging by dodging in class in the daytime and only getting flogged at night.

But not those of us born on special* days … we were thrown into the steel cage of boarding house and left to protect ourselves for 24 hours of attempted flogging! And where were the teachers to protect us? You guessed it…on holidays!


#3 Combined Gifts/Celebration

They give people rice and chicken on your birthday, but you are not sure if the rice and chicken is for you or for Jesus! Even the cake is suspect!


Let’s not forget the guests that show up for Jesus birthday but will act like they came for your birthday. And let’s not talk about the music….

Your birthday DJ will mix Yvonne Chaka Chaka with Jingle Bells just so he pleases both you and baby Jesus. Anyway you look at it, it is a lose lose situation.

But the worst part…the very worst part! Is the gift combination. Those born on February 14th and December 25th will understand!

Instead of getting a special gift on valentine’s day and then another on your birthday, your gift will be combined into one. So for every year of your life, you will be robbed off several gifts. Can you imagine how many Ipads or free money you have lost because of this! Can you imagine!



#4 Annoying Nicknames

Nigerian Baby, Valentine Baby, Christmas Baby or Easter Baby. If you are born on September 29th, you don’t get a stupid nick-name like that. But we sad individuals born on special* days get specially retarded baby nick-names! I just can’t!

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#5 Everyone Remembers Your Birthday But Get Mad When You Forget Theirs

I know what you are thinking!

What on earth is wrong with people remembering your birthday.

Absolutely nothing!

Except of course you are born on a special day (like mine), in which case everybody tends to remember your birthday…everybody. It normally starts like this …

hmmm I am home all alone (public holiday and all), o it’s October 1st. I know who was born on October 1st, we used to beat his ass extra hard in Secondary school. Let me give him a call to see how he is doing, after all I have all this free time …

Again don’t get me wrong I appreciate the calls. But please realize that because you remembered my birthday, I am not obligated to remember your September 23rd or July 15th … I have bad memory and those dates are quite forgettable. So don’t be looking at me funny because you remembered mine and I forgot yours.

Besides the only reason you remembered is likely because my birthday is special! Which come to think of it, is not so bad after all.

At the end of the day we all just have to enjoy our birthday anyhow we get it …


PS: For my birthday, I want to help someone out, someone that is making a difference in the community. If you know of any such person do let me know below. Looking forward to your suggestions, be awesome!

twitterWritten by Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
Follow him on Twitter
Stalk him on Instagram
Read his crazy titled books on konga or okadabooks
Feed his children at…no wait he has no kids…


Author: Ofili

Words by Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com
Follow him on Twitter
Stalk him on Instagram
Read his crazy titled books on konga or okadabooks
Feed his children at…no wait he has no kids…. 

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26 comments on “5 Reasons Why I Hate My Very Special* Birthday

  1. Happy Birthday!! We are in the same club – I am a boxing day baby and get kicked to the curb by those I consider my dearest and nearest. Why?!?!?!? Because they are spending time with their dearest and nearest. *sigh*

    Calabar Gal

  2. Happy birthday to someone who has inspired me for years… I talk about you so much my friends call me ofilove! Have a blast ofili! You so deserve it! #rolemodel

  3. Diwari on said:

    Hahaha! I can so relate to this. Re nicknames, “Indipe” irks me the most. Then having Nigeria steal your thunder each year. But that’s the cross we have to bear, I suppose ! Happy Birthday Ofili xx

  4. Faithy on said:

    Happy Birthday Ofili – do enjoy your special birthday! At least you don’t have to kill a ram for everyone!

  5. Ohhhh! Happy happy birthday! Hope your new year rolls out many, many things that’ll make you feel super special everyday. Sure you have this special birthday for a reason. And yeah, may your creative juice never run out!

  6. Happy birthday!

    About someone making a difference, I have a friend called Yewande Olofinro. Every year since I met her 8 years ago, she’s helped more than 5000 kids through a self organized initiative called Vals4kids. She does a Back2School thing for kids without shoes, bags, books etc. Interesting thing is no one out there really gets to hear about this.
    Seye Kuyinu latest post is Wireless chargers are not ‘there’ yetMy Profile

  7. Comfort on said:

    Happy Birthday Ofili. May God bless your new age. I’d love you to share your special day with The Street Child Care home. Its a home that caters for street children here in Lagos. Find more info on http://www.scccwi.org

  8. I laughed so hard…..thank God for Ur special birthday. at least it made you write this article. Happy birthday ofili

  9. Dear Ofili,
    You are already used to this stuff by now.
    But there are some positives:
    1) You seem to have a more thriving biz model than your elder bro (9ja)
    2) You are not being threatened by extinction/annihilation by extremist terror groups.
    3) You (should) have diverse income sources – not depending on oil.

  10. Opeyemi on said:

    You can help me.. I’m a Corper in Kaduna and I was posted to a remote village to teach.. When I say remote I mean HUT, well water, pit laterine and no such thing as electricity kinda remote.. Proof: check my IG account Opeyemifamakin .. You could help me and the 4 other corpers there by buying us I better pass my neighbour gen.. The only way we charge our fones is in a call center and to get edge network to read your blog I have to climb a mountain.. All d proof u need is on my IG profile.. Ejo e help me

  11. Happy belated birthday Ofili. You made so much impact in my life. Thank you for giving out yourself. I am actually singing you a birthday song in my croaked voice *for he is a jolly good fellow and so I sing Happy birthday* Cheers

  12. Happy birthday dear.
    I know exactly what you mean, someone said to me ‘Happy born freedepence blah…’ a mouthful didn’t even know what it meant.
    However unlike you I love my birthday and was never in school( pri/sec), sec always resumed a day after and was called long holiday. So no flogging. (Ndoo).
    The one time I tried to celebrate in pri school a day after, during break, the cake came late and we encroached on a period, our teacher was reprimanded by the headmaster. So embarrassing and sad, I swore to stick with family and those who wanted free rice on independence. No regrets.
    AAnyway don’t forget to celebrate you and be thankful. God knows why he made you on that special day.
    By the way, when we were growing up there was some sort of party in Lagos for Oct 1st children, how I longed to be there ( I grew up in Aba) but never was. Lol!
    I still chose to be happy and family and friends made sure of that.
    Have a great day!!

  13. Oh wow. And I somehow managed to forget it. Happy Belated Birthday Ofili.

    As to someone making a difference in the society, Miss Pynk of pynk360.com is one person I know. She can be contacted at admin@ pynk360.com and pynk360@ gmail.com. Oh and I know this is late but better late than never, not so?

  14. lol. Its been long I visited this blog last. Funny enough my birthday is Sept 29 which you mentioned. I get my free day but very soon Oct1 comes and everyone is talking Nigeria. (Sowie you hear?) Happy belated. Hope you had a good one.

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